Lose weight by gaining happiness

Dear readers,
I promised to follow up last night's post with another tonight about new ways to take a load off.  Yesterday, I explained that extra weight is really trapped energy; today, I'll share the one word that will help shake it loose:

Joy!

The fact is, humans don't like to lose anything.  One of the reasons why so many of us resist change is because we associate change with loss.  But we love to gain, especially happiness.

So if you're overeating, what you may really be hungry for is more life, more love and more joy.  The problem is that you might think you don't deserve it or can't have it.  And nothing could be further from the truth.  You simply have to choose it.

Here's an example:  I coached a woman who was a supervisor in a nursing home.  She liked her job, but was terribly unhappy because often, the younger workers on hourly salaries called in "sick," and she would have to work extra shifts.  This meant that she couldn't get home in time to have dinner with her husband.   She didn't talk about overeating; she talked about her burdens at work and how exhausted they made her feel.

But when I saw her next, she was bright and smiling.  "Guess what?"  she said.  "I walked in to work the next day and said, 'I want a demotion!  I want to go back to being paid hourly, and because I have been here the longest, I get seniority rights and get to choose what shift I want."  And sure enough, she chose the 7 AM-3 PM shift.  So now she gets home every night for dinner with her husband, and has enough time to take a walk after dinner.  The result?  She lost 2 pounds the first week.

The point is, the more you empower yourself to accept and enjoy happiness, the easier it will be for you to lose weight.  If you don't know what would make you happy, look at what makes you unhappy.  The answer may lie there, as it did for the woman I was coaching.  Energetically, the goal is to align your thinking, speaking and action with what makes you feel good, as that is what opens the energy channel for more to come your way to keep you on the path.

Make a list of whatever burdens you or "weighs you down."  Think of how much lighter and more joyful your life would be without that burden.  But don't just try to take away the negative, because if you do only that, you create a void that will likely be filled again by what you don't want.

Instead, be ready to take away the negative AND fill the void with something new and positive.  The first time you do the positive thing, you'll be amazed at how light you feel!  

Love,
EL

Take a load off to lose more weight

Dear Energy Lady,
Got any more ideas for weight loss?  I ready your first blog on this, but I'd love to hear any other ideas you have.

Signed,
Bikini season is coming

Dear Bikini,
One of the easiest energetic ways to lighten up is to take a load off.   Human beings are designed to create and experience joy, love and peace.  But we sometimes block those states by limited, negative or "heavy" thinking.   And this can result in weight sticking to us because the energy we might use to live, laugh or love gets trapped.

In addition, when our thoughts are burdensome, it's possible that 1) we give up on our hopes and dreams;  2) we become either afraid to fail or afraid to succeed, and so take no action;  3) we numb the feeling with distractions like the Internet or TV, and the result is mindless eating; or 4) we feel that we are unlovable and 'cover up' our love with an energy barrier (trapped weight).  In other words, we slow down physically as well as mentally so we can feel safe, and that just makes it all the more difficult to lose weight.

So one thing you can do is to start listening to your own thoughts.  Write them down, if you dare.  You probably won't like what you hear and see, but it will give you clarity about where you have buried your true spirit.  Then do something simple with these thoughts:

Let them go.

Think of them as old, ill-fitting clothes.  Baggage you no longer need.  A heavy backpack and ankle weights that you finally took off.  

Here's why:  Our body believes every word we say.  Carolyn Myss, the medical intuitive and author, says "our biology is our biography."  So one of the best things you can do when you're trying to lose weight is to change your story.  And a simple way to start changing your story is to simply delete the parts of it that aren't creating the happy ending you want.

The thoughts will probably try to creep back on--after all, they're familiar to you. So even if they're uncomfortable, you're likely comfortable with their discomfort.   But again, it's up to you.  You get to choose what you want to think and believe.   So if you're having trouble believing the best, just stop thinking the worst.

Eventually, you will create space in your thoughts for something new to enter.  And when it does, it will likely be lighter, happier and freer than what you dropped.  Follow those thoughts and take action, and you'll start revving up not only your life, but your metabolism.

Tomorrow, I'll share more ideas about how you can trade losing weight for gaining happiness.  This, too, will help you take a load off!

Love,
EL

10 Fullistic Principles

Dear Energy Lady,
You talk a lot about Fullistics, but I don't know what that means.  What are the principles of Fullistic™ Living?

Signed,
Curious

Dear Curious,
Happy to share.  The vision of Fullistics is to make the world a more loving, safe and joyful place for everyone by helping people discover their GreatFULLness.  The major principles come from a combination of Energetics, the study of energy under transformation; Noetics, how beliefs, thoughts and intentions affect the physical world; Unified field theory, the desire to link together everything that happens in the physical world; Mindfulness and self-awareness; Gratitude and joy.

The principles are:

1) Human beings are individualized expressions of divine love.
2) The purpose of life is to know ourselves as this love.
3) This love lives in us, as us, and is expressed through us.
4) This love also surrounds us in multiple dimensions as a field of energy that has unlimited potential.
5) All of life is tied to this field.
6) This energetic field is governed not only by love, but also by the laws of quantum and scalar physics.
7) Humans are the only known species on earth to have the ability to consciously create in this field.
8) Pain and suffering can come from experiences related to the unconscious or malicious misuse of this field, or by ignoring it altogether.
9) Love is the only thing that is real. "Reality" is an outpicturing of unconscious individual and collective beliefs.
10) Because love is all there is, life is meant to be filled with peace and happiness for everyone.
11) Anything is possible because we live in a field of all possibilities.
12) Self-awareness in multiple dimensions is the key to freedom.

So, Fullistic™ living is engaging the loving energy we are and the loving energy we have available to us consciously to create joy for ourselves and others.

In coming blogs, I'll keep answering your questions about how to use these principles to manifest more joy, health and happiness in your life; you can ask questions through the comments section or by emailing me.  You can also find me on Twitter @theenergylady.

Thanks for asking.  Live Fullistically!  :)

Love,
EL

Getting my boyfriend to listen to me

Dear Energy Lady,
I love my boyfriend a lot, but he's a really terrible listener.  I've tried asking him to listen to me, but he'll do it for, like, 3 seconds, and then goes right back to watching TV or playing with his phone.  Is there anything I can do energetically?

Signed,
Tuned Out

Dear Out,
This is not just your problem.  A lot of people experience "tuned-outness" with the people around them, largely due to the electronic toys we all have.  While energy doesn't work as well when you try to create in someone else's experience, it can be wonderful when you use it to create in your own.

First, ask yourself: do I want my boyfriend to listen to me complain about my day, or just have a normal back-and-forth conversation?  The negative energy of complaining or whining doesn't feel very good, and many people will do something to distract themselves or protect themselves from it.  The same is true if you're judging or gossiping about others.   So it may be that your boyfriend is not tuning you out, but what you're talking about.

The next thing to consider is whether you just want to talk about yourself and what matters to you, or whether you want to use the time to engage him about what's on his mind.  Again, if the focus is only going to be on you, it's easier to understand why he might not want to talk.  Or, if you tend to use the time to probe him about things he'd rather not talk about, he might pull back.

Now there's nothing wrong with wanting someone to listen to your troubles; it's one way we can sort through things.  But your boyfriend might be the wrong person to talk to.  It could be that a therapist, a trusted girlfriend, a mentor or advisor, or a therapist might be better choices.   Energetically, you can also close your eyes and imagine yourself sitting at a table with a wise advisor, who might be an older version of yourself or a spirit guide.  You'd be amazed at the answers you can get from a few minutes of this.  Remember that when we say we need someone to listen to us, sometimes it points to a need for us to listen to ourselves first.

But if you just want to talk about your day and hear about his, or you want him to pay attention because you need to tell him something important, then you can try this:  before you go into the room to speak with him, imagine him sitting with you and listening well, responding to what you say and making eye contact with you.  And, of course, imagine yourself doing the same.  Feel the love between you, and how important you are to each other.  Visualize this until it starts to feel real to you.

Then when you walk into the room to be with him, don't talk AT him; prepare to talk WITH him.  For instance, if he is sitting, then you sit where he can clearly see you.  Don't stand in another part of the room and talk to the back of his head.  Once you get near him, give him a kiss, take his hand or touch him on the shoulder--making physical contact is a great way to get your energies attuned to each other, not to mention that it's also a great way to get his attention.  If he doesn't like the physical contact, use your etheric body to embrace him with love.

At that point, make a choice.  If you just want to tell him something, do so  while you have his attention. Don't get angry if he doesn't respond verbally; ask for him to show you in some other way that he understands.

If you want to have a real conversation, ask if this is a good time to talk for a few minutes or plan to talk when you're both able to focus, like at dinner or on a shared ride home from work.  Make sure it's a time when you both can turn down the volume or put the gadgets aside.  If not, choose another time that works for both of you.

Some of this is common sense, but it's also energetics: consciously aligning your thoughts, words and deeds with what you want so you raise your vibration and become more magnetic to what you truly want to experience.

Have fun!

Love,
EL

The dance of love and positivity

Dear Readers,
Rather than answer a question today, I'm going to share a technique I have been using that has increased both my physical energy and positivity dramatically.  I call it "Fullistic dance."  It gets all your energy centers going and glowing, and connects your multiple energy bodies to new people and situations.  It's fun, it's easy and it works!

To do it, you'll need some happy music.  Anything upbeat and uplifting will do.  Try to avoid anything that uses bad language, heavy metal, has an angry or hateful message or is dark and moody.  

Before you begin, stand straight, put a big smile on your face and say, "Spirit, undo me.  Spirit, move through me.  Spirit, renew me.  Let's play!"

Then turn on your music and start to dance.  For the first part, imagine that you are surrounded by loving, friendly energy that is ready to neutralize all your negative energy so it no longer impacts you or anyone else.  As you dance, shake out each and every part of your body that you can--arms, hands, legs, feet, torso.  Shake your head and wiggle your ears.  Loosen up, and feel yourself lighten up as all that negative, stuck energy disappears.  Again, see the negativity fall off you and disappear, gone forever.  Do this for one or more songs; you'll know you're done when you start to feel free.

Once you've cleared out the old gunk, you're ready to rev up your energy centers.  You have 7 chakras in your body, and what you want to do is get them all activated and balanced.  If you don't know what these are or where they are located in the body, do a little quick research--there's plenty of information about them on the Internet and in books.

To get your chakras glowing, place your right hand in front of your left about 3-4" in front of the chakra you want to energize.  Then rotate your hands from left to right in a circular motion.  You will feel a gentle warmth as the chakra "awakens."  Again, you will have a sense of when to stop and move on to the next chakra.  And even if you don't, no need to worry, because when you get to your crown chakra (top of your head), simply say, "Chakras, balance yourselves."  Your energy system will follow your command (and yes, you can simply say this at the start if you're pressed for time, but the circular "energy massage" does feel wonderful).

Once you are balanced, place both hands over your heart chakra and then extend them out, as if you were opening a door to love.  Imagine that light is filling your hands.  Then release it in whatever direction feels best to you.  Do this over and over and over, sending love in all directions.  You can send it to specific people, or simply intend that it go where it will be most welcome.

After you have given away love, it's time to receive more for yourself.  So this time, extend your hands out, imagine them filling with light, and then bring your hands back into your heart (or any part of your body that you feel is in need of love or to any chakra that feels weak).  Do this over and over, accepting love from all directions--around you, above you, below you, behind you and in front of you.

Then let your dance of love come to a gentle close.  Let your hands rest at your sides.  Put a smile on your face (if you haven't been smiling this entire time!).  Sense that you are safe and renewed for a wonderful day.

Enjoy!

Love,
EL

Keeping my spouse safe in Afghanistan

Dear Energy Lady,
My wife is in Afghanistan, and I wonder if there is anything I can do with energy to keep her safe.  Any suggestions?

Signed,
Loving but concerned husband

Dear Loving,
There are infinite things you can do with your energy, but the only thing you can't do is use it to change someone else's reality.  We all have free will, and it's important that we each be allowed to use it in whatever way we choose.

So while I can't tell you how to keep your wife safe, I can suggest something that may possibly contribute to that outcome:  send her your love and light.

Here's how you do it:  Sit quietly.  Put all your focus on your heart.  Imagine that there is a beautiful green light there, which is the color of your fourth chakra.  Watch the light as it glows; this is the light of true love.

Next, imagine yourself writing the word "safety" inside the light.  Watch as it makes the light glow stronger.

When you feel your love connected to this light of safety, release it.  Send it to your wife; just let it go.  Do not try to control how or when or if she receives it; again, she has free will, including the right to reject it entirely.  Your job is just to create it and send it, unconditionally.

You might get a sense of how it is received, or you might not.  But this I promise:  it will reach her.  You can also ask your family to do this, as well.  It is like a collective prayer, and the more energy you send, the stronger the effect.

Stories abound about people who have done this.  The recipients sometimes say things like, "I felt this incredible warmth" or "suddenly I just felt peaceful." It's equally possible that your wife won't know that anything has happened.  But you will.

Just know this:  doing this doesn't guarantee her safety, any more than not doing it sabotages it.  Believe me, plenty of people have been hurt in wars who were deeply loved.  But also know this:  it can only help.  It can't hurt.  And it will connect you in ways that Skype and email simply cannot.

My blessings to you and your family.  And I hope all the soldiers in wars come home safely.

Love,
EL

400 smiles a day

Dear Energy Lady,
Is there an easy way to keep your vibration high all day?

Signed,
Ready to thrive!

Dear Ready,
The best way to remain at a high vibration is to release the lower ones, so the more conscious you become about lower emotions like fear, sadness, anger, grief or shame and the faster you let them go, the higher your vibration will stay.  There are many wonderful methods available to help you do this, including the Tapping Solution, The Sedona Method, The Work and more.  Let go of the lower, and it's like removing your hand from a cork that you're holding under water.  The cork will immediately bob up to the surface, and so will you.

But if you simply want something fast and easy, smile.  It's biologically impossible to feel bad when you're smiling, so you automatically raise your vibration.  This may be a challenge, though--the average American child smiles 400 times a day; the average American adult smiles less than 15 times a day.  I don't know the average in other countries, but my guess is that the ratio is similar.  By the time we're adults, we wait until we have a reason to smile.  And because we wait, our vibration stays low.  This is because energy doesn't come to us, it comes THROUGH us into the world.

Try it tomorrow.  Before you get out of bed, smile.  It will feel strange the first time, but you'll see an immediate difference in how you feel.  Then keep smiling--after your morning cup of coffee, when you're shaving or putting on your makeup, when you get in your car or on public transportation, and then at every person you see.  Smile before you speak on the phone; again, you'll be amazed at the difference in how you feel and in how the conversation goes.  Smile before you start working on a project.  Smile in the elevator.  Smile everywhere, and at everyone and everything.

Be like a child and see if you can smile 100...200...300...400 times a day.  Delight in life, and let it find its delight in you!

Love,
EL

Speeding up weight loss

Dear Energy Lady,
I saw your earlier blog about gaining happiness to lose weight, but I'm wondering if there's anything else I can do to speed up the process.  My best friend is getting married in August, and I'm the maid of honor.  I'd love to fit into a size 6 dress!

Signed,
Trying for skinny

Dear Trying,
Let me tell you a true story that can give you another idea.  A friend of mine was always struggling with her weight, and she, like you, wanted to be a size 6.  She dieted and exercised, but nothing worked for long.  She'd lose weight, only to gain it all back.

Then one day she was at a seminar, and the facilitator asked each participant to select a partner.  So she choose someone she thought was a size 6.  But when the facilitator asked the group to hug their partner, she thought, "Actually, she feels a little bony to me."

Then the facilitator had them switch partners.  This time, she found herself with someone more "ample."  When she hugged this partner, she thought, "Ahh!  This feels much better."

Suddenly, she heard a question pop into her head:  "Why is it so important to me to be a size 6--esp. when I have to beat myself up to do it?"  So she stopped agonizing over every single thing she ate, and  exercised to please herself, not others.

With all her resistance to her own state of being gone, and with the love of herself clear, the weight started to drop off.  She lost about 30 pounds, and found herself at a comfortable size 10.

The point is that resistance of any kind lowers your vibration, which can contribute to the weight sticking to you.  So ask yourself:  why do I want to be a size 6?  Explore what you want and what you're resisting, and you'll likely sense where you've been blocked.  Remove the blocks in your thinking, and whatever else you're doing to lose weight will likely work better and faster.

Love,
EL

All I want to do is relax!

Dear Energy Lady,
I have things I really want to do-goals I want to reach, and even things I want to do every day.  it y the time I finish with work, take care of my toddler, eat dinner and clean it up, I'm exhausted.  All I want to do is lay on the couch.  How am I ever going to get my novel written and curtains made for my living room?

Signed,
Pooped

Dear Pooped,
You do have a lot on your plate, and just physically, it's very demanding.  So to maintain the vitality of your physical body, eat right, get enough sleep, and try to get some movement in every hour, especially if you sit at a desk.

But to get the rest done, you can, as intuitive Laura Day would say, control the world from your couch.  So, as long as you're on the couch, try visualizing.  Become a character in your own novel, and start fantasizing the story from there.  Make it come alive in your mind, until it starts to become so vivid that you almost can't wait to flop on the couch because you know you'll be spending time thinking about it.

This kind of focused attention will generate activity in the quantum field that produce the resources you need to get the novel into form.  So, as you're having fun, make a wish like, "I wish I had someone to transcribe my ideas for me", or "I'd really like a partner to help me."  Just make sure your wish feels good and peaceful.  Then watch for proof that it's showing up.

Get used to the idea that rest time is daydream time.  As for the house cleaning, pay for a service to do it for you.  Can't do everything, after all!

Love,
EL

Deciding Fullistically

Dear Energy Lady,
I have always been a rational, logical person, and make pretty good decisions in my life.  But I'd like to try some energy practices.  Can you give me something I can try?

Signed,
Ready for More

Dear Ready,
Sure!  Try this:

When considering two decisions, write each one on a separate slip of paper.  Then get a couple of slips of plain paper, too.  Crumple up each of the slips of paper separately--you don't want to know what's on any of them by looking at them.  Or, if you like to be a little neater, use Post-it notes.  Fold the notes in on themselves with the sticky side in; they'll all be the same size, and you won't know what's inside them.

Then take all the notes/crumples and mix them up.  You can cup your hands around them and shake them, or you can put them in a hat or a bowl, or simply put them on a desk and stir them around.  Just make sure you don't know with your logical thinking mind which is which.

Next, stand up.  Take one and hold it to your belly, just underneath your belly button.  This is a major energy center in your body, and the link between the chakras above and below.  Close your eyes and take a few cleansing breaths.  Then wait.  You will either feel nothing at all, or feel yourself falling forward or backward.  Some energy practitioners will tell you that falling forward means that what's on the paper represents something that will take you forward; others will say that falling forward means that your body is rejecting what's on the paper.  I learned that if you feel a strong pull towards your body--in other words, feeling as if you could tumble backwards--that is the signal that your energy field wants to take this in and have it be part of you.  That's the one I use.

It really doesn't matter, though: you will need to decide which signal means what to you. Decide that before closing your eyes, so that you know what the signal means when it occurs.  It doesn't matter which one you choose; just make a choice.

Then, before opening the paper, test it again by holding it against your heart.  If you get the same signal, you can be sure you're on the right track.

You can also test it by holding it against your third eye, the seat of intuition.  Just hold it against the space between your eyebrows.

Hopefully, all of these will test similarly.  If they don't, you might want to test it against a specific chakra. If it's a decision that could impact your survival (financial or otherwise), you might hold it against your root chakra, which is in your genital area.  Creative issues can be tested against your second chakra, in your pelvis.  Issues of will or strength will test best near your third chakra, near your belly button; romantic questions can be tested against your heart chakra; questions of communication or finding your own voice can be tested against your 5th chakra, near your throat;  complex questions can be tested near your sixth chakra, between your eyes; and spiritual questions can be tested against your seventh chakra, at the top of your head.

Once you get your test results, open the paper and see what the decision is/was.  Then you can compare the answer your energy body gave you to the one you might have made logically.

If you get the blank piece of paper, it means that neither of your two choices is likely to be the right one for you, and you'll need to be open to something different.  

In the end, it's up to you--logic, energy/intuition or both.  Just remember this: make the decision, and then make it good!

Love,
EL

Law of Creation?

Dear Energy Lady,
I understand the Law of Attraction, but can you please explain the Law of Creation?

Signed,
Curious

Dear Curious,
Actually, this may surprise you, but I don't believe in the Law of Attraction.  The way that law is expressed and taught, it makes the universe sound like a gigantic candy machine that dispenses goodies to those who are aligned with it.  It makes it sound like good and bad things are already created and it's up to us to magnetize them into our lives.  To me, the idea that things are already complete is just silly, as it takes away our free will to create whatever it is we want.  The Law of Attraction also blames people for "attracting" disease.  As I explain below, I don't believe that, either.  In the end, my opinion is that, either way, the Law of Attraction just makes people feel bad.

Instead, I teach and believe in what you might call the "Law of Creation."  Here's why:  we live in the quantum field of all possibilities.  That field is basically what you might call "energy in waiting."  It's kind of like a plowed field of dirt that's waiting to be seeded.

In that field, energy exists in one of two forms: waves or particles.  In its unformed state, energy is waves.  But when someone puts their attention on a possibility, the wave stops moving and becomes a particle. As you direct more of your physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual and vibratory body energy towards that particle/possibility/idea, it intensifies to the point where many "bits" or particles of energy are now vibrating together.  It's like watering the seeds--at this stage, they have sprouted, but you don't know how big the plant will be or exactly when it will come up.

But it's in your field, and when watered with love and warmed by your attention, it will grow.  So maybe this should be called the "Law of Attention."  Because you created it, this vibrating "bunch" of energy is attached to you.  You don't need to "attract" it--it is not only yours, it IS you, in a new energy form.  What that form is and how it will show up in your life remains to be seen.  But the energy itself has a character, tone and intensity that reflects how you are/were when you created it, which is why the believers in attraction say that "like attracts like."  But you're not "attracting" anything when you do this deliberately--you're deliberately creating on/in the field through your intention.

So this is why it is not surprising when what you paid attention to shows up in your life.  Often, the form isn't what you expect, but that's half the fun.  The other part of the fun is that usually things show up best when you're loving the game of creating them. Again, think of it as a plant you're watching grow, and how good you feel for having planted and nurtured it.  For in the end, life is all about the source of love (you, as individualized incarnation of source), loving itself in endless ways.

Then why do bad things happen?  Do we "create" those, too?  You must remember that most people use energy sloppily or badly.  And 80% of the 50,000 or so thoughts we have every day are negative.  That's a lot of negative energy floating around.

We all have exactly the same powers to create, for good or bad.  And we all live in the field together.  So it's virtually impossible to separate yourself from all of the negative energy of fear, shame, guilt, anger, hatred, doubt, apathy and more that surrounds us all the time.  Some people are more vulnerable to it than others, and that can make them feel "dis-eased."   One of the reasons why I'm writing this blog is to try to inspire people to be more deliberate and loving in their use of energy to live their lives, because if we don't, then anything can, and often does, happen to us.

So that gives you a quick overview.  In future blogs, I'll address things like winning the lottery, attracting the love of your life and more.

For today, I send love,
EL

Feeling old

Dear Energy Lady,
I feel so old-most days I don't feel very energetic.  Any thoughts?

Signed,
Dull

Dear Dull,
Even though you feel like you're set on idle, I can promise you that's not the case.  You're a ball of fire; you're just looking in the wrong direction.

Close your eyes.  Imagine that there's an elevator in your brain.  Let it drop down into your heart.  You'll start to feel the difference in vibration almost immediately.  When the elevator doors open, step out and again, let your senses, including your intuitive, sixth sense, be filled with the beauty you'll find there.

As you'll discover, in this state, things like time and age disappear.  When they do, so do the limitations you place on yourself around those things.

If you have trouble dropping into your heart, try a simpler exercise.  Go to any vibrant place- in nature, or indoors, with other people.  Look at one thing or person at a time.  For each one, say, "I am that."  Do that as many times as you can, and you'll start to feel your thoughts shift from self-consciousness to Self awareness.

In other words, open yourself to higher vibrations.  Call it getting "in-lightened."  And remember to take good care of yourself as you're doing it.  Eat colorful foods.  Exercise.  Laugh with friends.  Do something you love every day.

Here's the surprise-you're ageless and timeless!

Love,
EL

My boyfriend cheats on me

Dear Energy Lady,
My boyfriend cheats on me.  What's the energy of that?

Signed,
Furious

Dear Furious,
I don't know what your boyfriend's energy is, but I can tell you this:  he is giving you a great gift.  Most of us spend most of our lives being a little bit frustrated, a little bit disappointed, a little bit scared and a little disappointment.  It's rare that we experience anything that stirs up the kind of strong emotion you're displaying now.  And that kind of emotion is what is needed to make clear choices.  It's what one of my closest friends used to call, "Thank you, God, for showing me what I absolutely, positively do NOT want!!!"

Feel the fury inside you.  Don't try to dull the flame of it.  Now ask yourself: what is the opposite of this? That is the energy you truly want to experience.   So what is the opposite of fury?  Peacefulness?  Stillness?  Joy?  Define it for yourself.

Then make a decision.  Do you want to be furious or peaceful?  Just choose, and then act in accordance with that.  The Fullistic approach is to align your intention with your thinking, your words, your action, your heart and your intuition.  Let all dimensions of you resonate with what you want.

When you do that, one of two things is likely to happen.  Either your boyfriend will stop cheating because he, too will feel your peacefulness, or you two will break up and you'll find yourself with a new man who resonates as you do.  Either way, you will be better off.

Remember that cheating is often fear disguised--it's a search for validation and love.  If you are love and are intending, thinking, speaking and acting with love, fear will disappear.

Choose love, not fear.  You'll be glad you did.

Love,
EL

Sleep and waking up to the energy of the workplace

Dear Energy Lady,
I have a problem.  I handle stress ok during the day, but I find myself arguing with my boss as I go to sleep each night.  I always wake up a few hours later, and then have trouble going back to sleep because my mind starts talking again.  If I do fall asleep again, I find myself waking up with my fists clenched and again, arguing defensively in my thoughts.

How do I break this pattern?

Signed,
Exhausted

Dear Exhausted,
I'm going to take a guess at something:  I bet you not only have trouble sleeping; my guess is that you're also finding yourself stuck in your job and not getting the results you want because your vibrational state is so low.  Each one is feeding the other, and you're right--such a situation is mentally and physically exhausting.  But there are things you can do to shift from being tired to being awake and aware.

When you're tired, your energy field is more vulnerable to the negativity of others.  If you work in a demanding office, chances are good there is an egregor there.  An egregor is energy made up of the negative thoughts of others.  It is usually stuck, fearful energy.

To see if this is happening to you, try this:  Sit quietly and imagine that your physical body is transforming into a ball of light.  Then imagine your company's logo.  Allow your ball of light to approach the logo.  One of three things will likely happen:

1) You, as light, will bounce right off the logo and not be able to get in
2) You will get in, but then disappear
3) You will get in and stay whole and vibrant

Try this to see if this is really the place where you should be working.  My guess is that you're disappearing when you get in, which is why your mind is so busy whipping up arguments: it simply wants to know that it is still alive.  Since it doesn't perceive it can feel good at the workplace, it drums up bad feelings to create the necessary contrast to get you out of there.  So when you identify a clear negative thought, like "my boss hates me"--imagine its opposite, "my boss loves me" or "I love me."  That will help you take steps towards how you want to feel and what you do want.

If this is not true, and if, when you get inside the logo you're still whole and vibrant, then you may simply have a block against succeeding.  Try the Tapping Solution, the Sedona Method or even traditional counseling to break through to the truth.

If, however, your goal is simply to get a good night's sleep, you can try reading something peaceful when you get into bed, meditating, or even sipping a glass of warm milk or a cup of camomile tea.  No matter what, though, do NOT do work email before bed!  Save it for morning.  Get your phone and computer OUT of the bedroom.

Further, there are things you can do to take some of the power away from your thoughts so they don't bother you as much.  For instance, before you go to bed, welcome the thoughts, and then watch them, as Eckhart Tolle would say.  Just observe them whining and complaining, as though you're listening to a small child.  Make a deliberate switch from thinking "I am unhappy" to thinking, "I have an unhappy thought, and I am now observing it."  When you pull yourself out of the emotion of it, it will start to lose its energy.

Same in the middle of the night.  Don't try to suppress the thought--watch it with detachment.  If that doesn't work, try using a mantra to go back to sleep.  I have found that if I say "I am" over and over and over while observing my breath, it usually settles things down.

If you wake up with your hands clenched, unclench them first, and then again, observe the thought.  Remember what I said above:  it may just be coming to you to tell you your soul and spirit are alive and well.  If you sense that is the case, then ask, "OK, spirit--you have my full attention.   What is it you want me to know or notice?"  Then listen for the answer.

Either way, your sleeplessness says that you are waking up energetically and spiritually.  So relax.  Love yourself as you are right now, and all will be well.

Love,
EL

Take a Load Off!!

Dear Energy Lady,
I'm overweight, and I'm sick of dieting.  Is there a way I can use energy to help me?

Signed,
Carrying a heavy burden

Dear Burdened,
Let me tell you a story.  I was working with a woman who wanted to lose 50 pounds, and she was faithful to both her diet and her exercise plan.  But she plateaued at one point, and nothing was working.

So I asked her to just tell me her story.

"We'll, we have donut day every Tuesday, and everyone goes but me," she said.  "I'm really good about it.  I'll walk by that donut room 25 times, and won't take a bite.  But the darnedest thing always happens.  Somehow, I still manage to gain another pound or two the next day.  It's really depressing."

I replied, "As an energy field, you are always imprinting information on your physical form.  Add to that there's no such thing as not creating.  So when you say, "I'm NOT going to eat a donut," the "not" drops out, and what your body hears is, "I'm going to eat the donut."  If you do that 20 times in a day, your body holds the energy of 20 donuts. So that's why the scale goes up the nest day."

I then asked, "What do you want to do?  What would make you happy?"  And she answered with a sigh,

"I just want to go in there with my friends and be normal like everyone else.  I want to eat a donut and enjoy it!"

I suggested that she do that, and the next week she came in with a huge smile.  "I did it!  I went in, sat down with my friends, and took my favorite kind of donut-the kind with the cream inside.  I savored every bite, but you know what?  I was so satisfied that I didn't even feel like finishing the whole thing."  She paused.  And here's the funny thing-I never gave it another thought the rest of the day. Then I got on the scale the next morning, and I'd actually LOST a pound!"

So I explained, "the more you resist something, the more it clings to you.  When you stopped resisting, you lost that negative energy.  And when you stopped thinking about it, it stopped clinging to you as well.  Also, most people love to gain things.  So thinks of it this way-the more happiness you gain, the more satisfied you'll be.  And the more satisfied and happy you are, the more you "take a load off."  Lose the burden of fear and resistance, and you lose their heavy energy.  So you're working energy two ways."

Try it!  Find something that makes you happy, and let it satisfy you completely.  Take the load off your thoughts, and your body should feel "in-lightened."

Love,
EL

Is there an easy way to raise my vibration?

Dear Energy Lady,
I don't have a lot of time to meditate.  Even if I did, that might not do me much good.  What I really need is some way to raise my vibration in under one minute, so that before I walk into a big meeting I can be at my highest possible level.  Or, for that matter, something I can do when I shut off the car and before I walk in the house to shake off the negative stuff for the day so I can be at a higher, more loving level with my family.

Any ideas?

Signed,
Speedy

Dear Speedy,

Yes, there are a couple of very quick ways to raise your vibration.  Try any of these:

A three-step method:
1.  Stop.
2.  Breathe--fully and deeply.
3.  Go.

A two-step method:
1.  Say, "I intend to raise my vibrational level to the highest it can possibly be at this moment."
2.  Shift your attention to your heart before you encounter another person.

A one-step method:
1.  Smile.  (It's biologically impossible to feel bad when you're smiling--automatically raises your vibration.)

Love,
EL

Something Wonderful is About to Happen

Dear Energy Lady,
I am tired of waiting for my life to begin.  I'm ready to be happy NOW.  I can put on a smiley face, but I'd really like some kind of surprise or delight to make my day.  Got any ideas for me?

Signed,
Eager

Dear Eager,
OK--want to have a little fun?  Here goes:

Find a friend.  Then pick a subject that makes you feel good.  It can be anything--but the trick is that you have to be willing to talk about it for three or four minutes without using the word "but" even once.  If you use "but," you have to start over, because it kills the flow of energy to what you're creating.

Once you have the subject, start talking.  Your friend's role is to keep you talking using facial expressions, gestures and simple responses like "yes!" and "tell me more."  Your job is to let all the joy, love, wonder and delight you feel about this subject pour out.  (Note: subjects where you are passionate but angry don't count.  It has to be something that makes you feel good, not agitated.)

Talk about why you love the subject.  When you first realized that you were interested in it.  How you interact with it: do you read books about it?  Blog about it?  Engage others?  Save money for it?  Think about it all the time?  Have it as a hobby?  The point is that you love it, and are talking about it as if it is loving you back because of how it makes you feel.   Just keep talking, as if you were sharing your greatest treasure.  Go for at least three minutes, non-stop.  Five or six minutes is even better.

When you've poured out all you can, ask your friend to reaffirm for you what he/she heard.  It should all be positive.  Do not engage in any kind of dialogue about why you can't have it or why you feel deprived of it.  Just play with it in happy, animated conversation, and then give your friend the opportunity to do the same with his/her favorite subject.

When you're both finished, smile and relax.  You've now made a creation on the quantum field, as you have spoken something into being, poured loving energy into it, and remained open to receiving it.  Because it came through you, you are vibrating with it.

Expect that within a few days (one of my coaching clients actually had something wonderful happen three hours later--a record!), something wonderful will happen in relation to it.  You'll hear a song; be offered an opportunity; see signs of it as you go about your day; run into someone who's connected to it in some way, etc.   These are things that some people call happy coincidences, but they're not random.  They are materializations of the construction you made in the quantum field.  No one else will get them but you--it's your creation.

Just remember--expect the unexpected!  That's half the fun.  You'll never know how your little "present" from the universe will show up.

Enjoy!

Love,
EL

Transforming negatives into positives

Dear Energy Lady,
I feel like a balloon that was once blown up and had all the air let out of it.  Pffffffft.  I used to be colorful, fun, lighter than air, and want to feel that way again.   I was once really happy, but now I feel like I'm in the wrong place, doing the wrong things for me.  I make a comfortable living and my family is happy, but I just feel like I'm going nowhere fast, and time is ticking.  I've really had enough--I want something wonderful to happen--NOW.  Any ideas?

Signed,
Longing to fly high

Dear Longing,
This is going to sound funny, but you may be the luckiest person on earth right now.  People get very used to living in a state where they're a little bit frustrated, a little confused and a little stuck...all the time.  We think that's normal, and so we never do anything about it.

But you, lucky one--you have finally hit a point where you've drawn a line in the sand and declared, "no more!"  Doing so gives you a treasure that few have: clarity about what you don't want.  Until you know what you absolutely, positively do NOT want, it's hard to know what you do.

So write down everything that is bothering you about your current state.  Come on...pour it out.  Then, for each item, write down its opposite.  You've already done one such item in your letter--going from lifeless to full of life.  You can do this with your job, your relationships...anything and everything.

If you do, you'll soon see the vibrancy that you've been hiding.   Then read the new, happy words out loud.  Really feel them resonating in your system.  Sing them.  Turn them into a piece of art.  Put them on balled up pieces of paper and play with them, like you did with piles of autumn leaves.  Wrap them, one at a time, around your favorite beverage (water is best) and drink them (see the work of Masuru Emoto to explain why this works).  Sleep with them under your pillow.  Tuck them into your pockets or your purse and carry them with you.

In other words, after you've defined your happiness, start projecting it onto the field in the most playful way you know how.  Don't despair that you don't have those things--if you can imagine them, they're in your energy field somewhere.  And when you're done, simply declare, "This or something better!"

Finally, act.  Give yourself permission to be happy.  Make a phone call.  Write an email.  Read a book.  Take some action that resonates with the feeling you've created.   Get glowing!

So stop doing the wrong things for you.  Start doing the right ones.  No one can do this for you but you.

Happy creating!

Love,l
EL

Can't see my way clearly

Dear Energy Lady,
I'm in a weird place.  I feel like relationships and situations are ending in my life, but I can't get clear about what is coming.  It's uncomfortable, and scary.  Can you help?

Signed,
Caught in a fog

Dear Caught,
When you know you can't stay where you are and you don't yet know where you're going, there's only one place to turn:  within.  If you know how to meditate, do so; if not, you can simply sit still and follow your breathing in and out.  Start with the intention of simply getting peaceful with where you are in your life right now, as you are.

Yes, that's right.  Just allow the discomfort and fear to be there, without trying to change them.  If you let them be, you'll also allow other states to be there as well.  And since peace, love and joy are our most natural states (think of young children), you will experience them as well.

But fear not.  Eventually, something will shift, and you will move forward.  For now, stop scaring yourself.  Live for today.  What you may be learning is to be more awake and aware in the moment, and that can only serve you well, now and in the future.

Love,
EL

Moving up the vibrational scale

Dear Energy Lady,
I just read your blogpost about the vibrations of love being 500 on a scale of 0-1000.  How do you know where you are on that scale?  And how do you keep going higher?

Signed,
Stuck at the bottom

Dear Stuck,
For the best description of the scale of vibration, I recommend you read any of David Hawkins' books.  Today, I'll be referring to "Transcending the Levels of Consciousness: The Stairway to Enlightenment." It was published in 2006 by Veritas Publishing in Sedona, AZ.

On page 33 of this book, you will see a vibrational scale.  Dr. Hawkins also calculates the rate of happiness at each level.  I put these in parentheses by each vibrational number.  Here is what the scale looks like:

Shame 20 (1)

Guilt 30 (4)

Apathy, hatred 50 (5)

Grief 75  (9)

Fear 100   (10)

Desire 125   (10)

Anger 150  (12)

Pride 175  (22)

Courage 200  (55)

Neutrality 250  (60)

Willingness 310  (68)

Acceptance 350  (71)

Reason 400  (79)

Love 500  (89)

Unconditional Love 540 (96)

Joy 570 (99)

Peace 600 (100)

Enlightenment 700-1000  (100)

The book goes into detail about each vibrational level, including how to transcend it.   So while you may be able to guess where you are at any given moment, I would recommend you read the book to gain greater insight.

Each level ties to emotions and states of being.  Part of the process of evolutionary growth is becoming aware of where you are and where you'd like to be.

So many of us "try hard" in our lives.  We work long hours.  We sacrifice for others.  We are victims of circumstance, heritage and a hundred other things.   All of this resists the natural flow of energy in our lives.  One of the reasons why I write this blog is to suggest that there is a better way for us to truly live and enjoy our lives here on earth, and that is to live as the loving energy we are.

What I'm saying is that today is as good a day as any to open to love.   One of the ways we can do that is to be a witness to the around us.  Today, I saw love in many places: when a woman on the freeway honked at me gently because I didn't see her when I changed lanes.  Her safe driving saved both of us a lot of hassle.  When I was walking in my office building, and a man far ahead of me noticed I was carrying several items and held both doors.  When our office administrator said good morning and gave me a bright smile.  When I watched a TED video over lunch of a young poet who spoke of what it feels like to be bullied, and how he survived.  When I saw a news story of people on a beach in New Zealand making a human chain to save the life of a 12 year old boy who had swam out too far.  When I received an email response quickly to a request I made.  When I walked in the door and saw my darling husband already making dinner.  When Ed Asner was complimenting Valerie Harper on an entertainment show.  You get the idea.

Again, you could call this a gratitude list, but I just call it "allowing love to reach me."  Many people are willing to give love, but they cannot or will not receive it.   Receiving love makes you peaceful, and it inspires you to give more of it.  For when you do it, you'll notice that in spite of a small number of people doing some things that suggest they have disconnected from love, you'll see far, far more of people being smart, kind, thoughtful, gracious, intelligent, careful, loving, generous and more.

Shift your focus.  As you do, you'll raise your vibration with little or no effort on your part.  Happiness has always been yours, no matter what level you're at right now.  To know and experience more of it, simply let go of the lower vibrational states, and you'll naturally rise to the next level.

Love,
EL

The vibrations of love

Dear Energy Lady,
I want my life to be the best it can possibly be.  I guess you could say I'm a bit obsessed with continuous improvement.  And mostly, things do get better and better for me.  The problem is that I don't feel any different when they do. Shouldn't my vibrations be rising as my life improves?  And if they do, shouldn't I feel lighter or brighter or something?

Signed,
Still in the dark

Dear Dark,
You don't say this as such, so I'm going to take a guess at something.  You say you're on a mission of continuous improvement, so I'm wondering:  are you hyper-critical of yourself?  My guess is that when you look at what you have, you think, "Ok, that's good for now, but what's better than this?"   So this may be one reason why you're not getting any energy from any of your creations.

Look at it this way.  When God created the heavens and the earth, God didn't say, "Oops!  Forgot the land and the water!"  No, God blessed the creation and said, "This is good."   So before you move on to the next creation, bless the one you just finished and say, "This is good."   Better still would be if you could say why you think/feel it is good.  And better yet if you can relax for a little while (minutes?  hours?  days?), letting all those good vibes soak into you before moving on.

But if you simply can't relax ever, then try it this way:  when you look at what you created, even for an instant, look not at what it is, but rather, why it is.  For everything we create is to help us learn and experience more about love.  So look at your creations from your heart, not your head.

If you've ever been in love, you know that when you fall in love, you see every good thing about the other person.  You don't think; you feel.  In the moment when your creation comes true, experience it with that vulnerability, that wonder.  The moment will pass and so may the feeling of love, but the vibrational imprint will be there.

Remember, too, that everything in your life is light, and the origin of that light is love.  So in essence, everything and everyone is love.  And love is a very high vibration--on a scale of 1-1000, it's about 500.  David Hawkins, MD, PhD, has written about the fact that for every person who vibrates at 500 or above, 750,000 people are positively affected.

So if you really want to things to be better, start loving it as it appears before you each and every day.  There's no end to love, and nothing to "improve."  Just love to whatever extent you are able, in any way you know how.

Loving you,
EL

Reality versus dreaming

Dear Energy Lady,
I have a problem that I bet is shared by many other people.  I want and am ready for a new job.  The challenge is that I want the transition to be smooth, and right now, I'm in a low vibrational state because I'm not hitting the numbers I'm supposed to.  How do you reconcile an calendar empty of client delivery and low revenues energetically with a full calendar and high revenues?  I'm currently living the nightmare, and want to be living the dream.

Please, please help!

Signed,
Seeking good vibrations

Dear Seeking,
You're right--many people share this problem with you.  They want things that come from high vibrations to happen, but they're stuck in a pattern of low vibration.  And you're also right when you say you can't create high when you're feeling low.

So what can you do?  Several things:
1) Don't fight the low feeling when it occurs.  Remember that doing so only gives it more energy.  When it comes up, try to observe it, without judgement.  Just accept that it is there.  Then use it for contrast.  Simply say, "Thank you for showing me how I absolutely, positively do NOT want to feel."  Then release it.  This should put you into a state of calm, at least for a few seconds.  Just this alone might shift things for you.

2) From that state of calm, open your heart and give yourself some love.  If you've been hard on yourself, focusing on the negative or what's missing or just feeling bad for what hasn't been happening, you've basically been allowing yourself to short-circuit your own good.   You'll need some kindness to start to change things.  Close your eyes and either feel the angels or your spirit guides bringing you love, or opening the door to your heart and letting out the love held there, flooding your entire body. Let love surround and infill you.  Stay in that state for as long as you can.

3) Finally, if you'd like to do something tangible, say, I'm ready to create something wonderful for myself and all those who work with me."  Then create a calendar with exactly the number of appointments you'd like to have.   You don't need to put in particular names, but rather, think of blocks of time you'd like to fill.  Then you can fill in the blocks either with "clients" or with a block of color that represents the feeling you get when you're serving clients now.  Each time you look at the calendar, simply say, "my calendar is as full as I want it to be with client time."  If you find yourself resisting or not believing this, all you have to do is say, "things are improving for me every day."  If you don't believe that, take the calendar, wrap it in prayer, and say, "this or something better, please."  Then release it.

In any case, remember this:  if you're looking for good vibrations, look no further than to yourself.  They exist in you, as you, right now.  It's just your negative thinking and focus that is hiding them--just like a cloud hiding the sun.  They're not in some other dimension or place.  They're right here as you read these words.  See if you can feel them...even just a little bit.

The more you enjoy the feeling, the more the other will fade away.  So, to whatever degree you are able, stay focused on love, not fear.  You will soon become a vibrational match to a new workplace that matches the love you're now giving forth.

All is well, my dear.  Truly--all is well.  Remember that.

Love,
EL

Enlightening Up

Dear Energy Lady,
I've tried raising my vibration in lots of ways.  I meditate, think positively, smile, and try not to worry about the past or the future.  But I have to be honest and say that this all feels like a lot of stuff to me, and it's actually a burden.  Is there a simpler way to lighten up?

Signed,
Tired of trying

Dear Trying,
The simplest way to raise your vibration is not to lower it.  So if all your trying feels like effort, you're probably not raising it as much as you think, and you may unwittingly be pulling it lower.

Instead, consider this-perhaps the higher vibrations are not above you, or even outside if you at all.  Next time you feel you need to "enlighten up," try going within.  What you'll find is that the universe is not outside or above you, but within you.  

Just focus on your heart, and stay there.  Soon, you will likely feel enveloped in a golden light, and your physical body will feel transparent.  The feeling is incredibly peaceful....and light.

Happy "travels!"

Love,
EL

Dear Energy Lady,
I have a relative who's an energy vampire.  After spending as little as 20 minutes with her, I'm utterly exhausted and feeling sick.  Then I can't shake her energy for days afterwards.   The result, of course, is that I end up attracting things I don't want, which just makes things worse.

Any advice?

Signed,
Wish I had an energy shield

Dear Shield,
It's true that some people give off really negative vibrations.  If your relative is both thinking and saying negative things constantly, like complaining or gossiping, then he or she is likely to be experiencing a lot of problems in his/her life, which just leads to more negative talk.  So he or she is really stuck in a vicious cycle of negative creating.  And yes, you can get caught in it, since our energy bodies--particularly when fueled by strong emotion--can reach a far distance and will suffocate weaker energy fields.

You probably already know that we can't change other people; we all have free will.   But there are things you can do energetically to improve your experience with this person.

First, if you know s/he is coming, you can prepare yourself energetically.  Sitting or standing, state your intention out loud, something like, "I choose to be in ________'s presence without causing or receiving harm."  Or, as an alternative, "I am safe in ________'s presence, as I am protected by love."

Then, imagine what it means to be present without causing or receiving harm.  What comes to mind?  A shield?  A bubble of light?  Find an image that's authentic to you.  The same thing with protection.  What does love look, sound or feel like to you?  How would it protect you?

After you have your image of protection, you'll need to know how to be energetically in her presence.  The most loving thing you can do is allow him/her to talk without answering.  Just allow his/her words to flow without commenting-just listen.  As you do, since you are full protected, drop your focus into your heart and imagine a golden light there.  Feed it with love until it glows brighter and brighter.  There's nothing more you need to do with it: you are now the presence of love.

Your relative will feel this, and one of three things will happen.  It will either a) change his/her behavior, so that the conversation becomes more neutral or b) your relative will grow quiet or c) leave the room.

Occasionally, the presence of light makes a negative person even more agitated, because the contrast is too great.  If this happens, then feel free to say, "I can see this conversation is painful for you, so let's leave it for now." Then leave the room, and wait until the person has a chance to settle down.  You can also excuse yourself if the conversation is causing you any pain (which hopefully, it isn't, since you're in your protective bubble).

If you have difficulty doing any of the above, then, as a last resort, you can imagine a mirror.  Mentally place it facing out, towards your relative.  What this does is that when she/he speaks, it reflects the negative energy of the comments back to him/her.  Usually, the pain of this is so great that the person stops talking and leaves the room.

Again, please remember that this is not about the other person needing or having to change.  It's an opportunity for you to experience both your divine nature and the joy of using your energy field for positive purposes, first--for yourself, and second--in service to others.  And even if your relative doesn't change, know that you have given him/her a great gift that someday he/she may receive and accept.

Love,
EL

My thoughts scare me!

Dear Energy Lady,
I am really struggling.  I'm not doing well at my job, and I find myself locked in this battle in my head.  Sometimes, I'm battling my boss, who's not a bad guy, but I hear myself defending my poor performance and blaming him for stuff he did or didn't do.  Then I hear myself getting jealous of my coworkers who are making things happen.  Then when something doesn't work out for me, my thoughts start calling me a loser and a failure.  I know all of this is lowering my vibration, which makes it completely impossible for me to either succeed where I am currently or attract anything better.  On the one hand, I really want a new job--one that better suits my interests and talents.  On the other, I know that if I try to leave now, because of my vibrational state, the only thing that is likely to happen is either more of the same, just somewhere else.  Or worse.

Is there a thought switch I can turn off?  Or is there another way to raise my vibration?

Signed,
Scaring myself

Dear Scared,
I have been where you are now, so I know what you're talking about.   When you're too terrified to sink any lower and yet you can't figure out how to go higher, there are only two things you can do:

1) Stop.
2) Surrender.

If you try to fight not sinking lower, you'll just sink lower because that's what you're giving attention to.  And it's pointless to try to go higher when you're low, if only because you'll immediately feel your resistance bubbling up,  which only adds energy to the bad feeling.

But if, for just a single second, you can stop, the beautiful vibration you are can come out.  What do I mean by stop?  Stop planning your next move.  Stop talking about your thoughts and feelings.  Stop hungering for more or something different.  Stop berating yourself.  Stop blaming others.  Stop comparing yourself to your coworkers.  Just stop.  Stop moving around.  You can still your breath for a second or two.

When everything stops, peace can enter.  When it does, surrender everything--every thoughts, every fear, every limited definition of  yourself, every idea about what your future is, will or should be.  Just say, "I surrender" or "I give up."

Then be as still as you can.  If you're in bed, go to sleep.  If you're in your office, shut the door and just sit there for a moment or two (if you have a cubicle, you might want to find a quiet spot where you won't be disturbed).

Take a few deep breaths.  For this moment, you're ok.  Repeat whenever you feel you have more to surrender.  More and more may come up for a few days, but it's ok.  Think of it as taking out the trash from a very, very, very cluttered and tiny room.

With each stop-and-surrender episode, you'll lighten up.  It's hard to say when exactly you'll feel better, but at some point, you will, because you're releasing negative energy and allowing higher vibrational energies of love, joy and peace to appear.

You might want to say a prayer before you begin each time.  Something like, "I intend to stop and surrender my low thoughts to Love.   Please take and annihilate them so they are harmless.  I welcome peace into my heart and my life now."

As you start to feel better, start noticing what is changing for the better in your circumstances.   And when good feelings appear, follow them.  Eventually, you will be united with a better place where you truly feel you belong.  In that state, success must be yours.

Please stay in touch.  I'd love to know how things are progressing for you.

Love,
EL

Breaking free

Dear Energy Lady,
I really need some help.  I understand the concept of energy bodies and the quantum field, so now I'm trying to access both so I can make my life fun and easier.  The problem is that I'm a terrible meditator.  I either fall asleep or get so distracted by my thoughts that it just doesn't work for me.   Got any suggestions?

Signed,
Yearning to break free

Dear Free,
I am smiling as I write this, because you don't need to meditate to interact with either your energy bodies or the quantum field.  You do both at every moment of your life, just by existing in physical form.  Neither is separate from you; they ARE you, in different vibrations.

So it sounds as if you might be yearning for something else--perhaps  freedom from your thoughts, or a calmer, more loving, more joyful or more peaceful state of being.   The fact that you've been trying to meditate suggests this.

While it's true that steady practice of meditation can give you all of the above, some people are not willing to be patient while they build up the time they spend sitting in meditation.  You can trying doing it for one minute, then two, then three and so on, but again, if you have tried that and find it impossible, then let me tell you a story.

I was coaching a reporter from a newspaper who was doing a story on meditation.  He said he had tried everything to meditate, including some kind of virtual meditation using specially rigged glasses to show him images and distract his thoughts.  He said that nothing worked for him--his mind was just too active.

I explained to him that the traditional way of meditation might not be for him, since he was naturally curious about everyone and everything.  God does not expect a rose to behave like a leopard; or a sparrow to thrive underwater, as fish do.

So I asked him where he was as he was speaking with me.  He said he was in the newsroom, at his desk.  I asked him to describe his desk to me, and then--one by one--everything he saw around him.  I had him tell me the colors, shapes and smells; the sounds and conversations; the action and the stillness.  After a few minutes of this, I asked, "How do you feel now?"

Suddenly, he was quiet.  "Actually, incredibly relaxed," he said.  "How did you do that?"

I explained mindfulness to him, and added, "you need to keep your eyes open to relax--the 'dropping out' kind of meditation is just not authentic to you.  You have to be who you are, as you are now.  Someday, you might want to be quiet and still, but not at this point in your career.  Tune in to life, and you'll tune out the thoughts and feelings that are distracting you."

And I would say the same to you.  If you can't meditate in the traditional way, give up trying for right now.   That way might become easier for you in the future...or not.  In the meantime, figure out what gets you out of your head and into the moment.  Do you sing? Dance?  Write news stories?  Take photographs?  Run?   Everyone has something that feels completely natural to them--something that no one and nothing could stop you from doing.   You know it's the right thing for you because when you're doing it, your thoughts disappear and you feel peaceful and happy.

Find and do whatever makes you feel that way, and you'll attune your energy to the energy you want to bring into your life.   Respond to whatever feels easy and fun to you, and it will both unblock your energy bodies and open up more possibilities from the field.

Enjoy!

Love,
EL

Need a financial miracle

Dear Energy Lady,
My husband started a business a few years ago, and he's done everything in his power to make it work.  At this point, you could say he's obsessed with it.  So isn't that aligning your energy with what you want?  If so, it isn't working.  He has never made any money, and has now drained our savings.  We've also remortgaged our house and tapped out our credit cards, even though I objected to both.

I want to believe him that this is going to eventually pay off and we'll be millionaires, but I feel angry, resentful and frightened most of the time.   Got any good visualization tips or other ways I can make a financial miracle?

Signed,
Praying


Dear Praying,
Visualization is a wonderful thing.  It can help us see and shape a beautiful future.  But it's not enough to see something; you have to resonate with it.

You say your husband has done everything in his power to make his business work.  Simply, a business must be profitable in order to work, which means more money going in than going out.  It sounds as if he has not been able to make that happen to this point.  It doesn't mean it never will happen, but when a business is deeply, deeply in debt and its owners acting in fearful ways, it often takes outside help or someone with a fresh, objective perspective to see and do what must be done to turn it around.

That's the practical take on things.  From an energy standpoint, if you see yourself as millionaires, you're basically saying that you have a lot of money.  Right now, though, you say you don't have a lot of money, or any money for that matter, and it sounds like your confidence is waning or gone. So any visualization wouldn't be conscious creating; it would be making a wish that you likely don't believe can come true.

From an energy standpoint, wishes can come true if one of three things happen:  1) you feel peaceful, happy and free when you make them; 2) you allow your wish to be answered in a way other than a specific one that you insist must happen (for instance, winning the lottery); 3) you make a wish not that circumstances change, but that you change.

For you, I recommend the latter, because your actions--both yours and your husband's--are generating energy that is contradictory to what you want.  You spend money before you've even made it.  You're using debt, hoping it will help you grow your net worth.  You say you believe in your husband's business, but that you're frightened most of the time.  All of these suggest that your energy is not aligned or resonating with the wealth you say you want, and that visualization will not work right now.

So I would encourage you to go within before you try to change this situation any further from without.  Surrender questions like these to your guides/the source/God:  what needs to change to help me/us create financial stability?  What must I/we stop doing, start doing, continue doing to grow our net worth? If you're praying, pray for the courage to see the truth in your situation and for all the help and resources you need--earthly and otherwise--to create an outcome that is good for everyone, including you.

As you get the answers, take steps to respond to them.  Baby steps will do at first.  Taking that first step points your energy in the direction you want.  If you focus your thoughts, energy and actions on having a healthy financial future, you will begin to resonate with it, and from there, it will be easy and fun to visualize life as a millionaire.

Remember this: there is great love for you and your husband on this plane and in many other dimensions.  All is well.  Keep that in your heart as you go forward.

Love,
EL

Where is love?

Dear Energy Lady,
I have been searching for love as long as I can remember.  I've had relationships, and some of them were really good.  But even when I'm in a great relationship, I find myself wanting more.  So I keep searching...for my soul mate?  Lasting happiness?  Joy beyond measure?  I really don't know.  It just feels like I should keep looking.

Am I crazy?

Signed,
Searching

Dear Searching,
No, you're not crazy, at least not from an energy standpoint.  But it may not be romance alone that you're looking for.  Love is found in relationships, but not only with one other person.  As Van Gogh once said, "The way to know life is to love many things."

We are in relationship with everything in our lives--every person, every object, every situation.  So, in essence, we are in relationship with ourselves, both as the human beings we are, and with what we have attracted, accepted or encountered in our lives.  The quality of each relationship depends upon many factors, but at least one is how much we're willing to be present to the love that is in it or could flow from it.

Some people feel that objects will never love us back, but the fact is that we do receive love from anything that opens our hearts and helps us feel alive or peaceful.  People fall in love with running, model trains, a wonderful bottle of wine, collectibles, chess, art, music, dance, sports--you name it.

In human relationships, there are as many kinds of love as there are people.  There is a wonderful movie called "Love Actually," that takes a lighthearted look at many different types of love and notes at the end that love actually IS all around us.  You can see love everywhere, from the brightest to the darkest moments.  In fact, the latter is when some of us are the most vulnerable and open to love, and it pours out of people in waves of support and caring.

The reason why we fall in love with love is because love is where we come from and what we are made of.  All energy flows from consciousness, and consciousness, spirit, source energy--whatever you want to call it--is all love.  If you need proof of that, read any of the many books of people who have experienced the higher levels of vibration, either through near death experiences, enlightenment or simply letting go of fears and blocks.

But you don't need to "go to the other side" to feel what you're seeking--the beauty of a smile you know is meant for you.  The happiness of a friendship or a marriage that lasts for decades.  The joy of discovering the world anew through the eyes of a child--even one that is not your own.  The enjoyment of a radiant sunset.  The satisfaction of a hot cup of coffee on a cold morning, a job well done, or a great book that you can't put down.  The enthusiasm when your favorite sports team is winning.

As for romance, there are probably at least 100 people with whom you could create a nice life.  If that is what you want and are not finding, then question if you're really looking to love or to be loved, and under what terms you're willing to give and/or receive that love.  If your conditions are too limited, it may be difficult to find and/or keep.

Just remember: there are endless ways to find love, right here on earth.  So keep seeking, and enjoy your treasures!

Love,
EL

Yearning for More

Dear Energy Lady,
I'm a pretty good manifestor--I can usually visualize something I want, release it, and have it show up in my life in a short period of time.  But no one and no thing really does it for me.  Am I missing something?

Signed,
Yearning for more

Dear Yearning,

You're so right.  No one and no thing will ever satisfying your wanting.   One reason why is because we incarnate to experience our divine selves in endless ways, so there's always something new, different or more waiting for us.  The possibilities are endless for a reason--it's so we'll never stop engaging with life.

Engagement and creation are, as you say, energy play.  It's the beginning of experiencing the fullness of ourselves.  Without realizing it, you have already stated what may be your next experience of higher vibration--nothingness.

People are terrified of being nothing and no one.  For after all, what happens if we disappear?  Do we cease to exist?  From an energy standpoint, the answer is no.  Energy cannot be created or destroyed; it can only be transformed.  And that's not all.  You might ask why energy cannot be created or destroyed?  Because it flows from pure consciousness, or spirit.   How do we know this?  Because more and more people are coming to experience the end of "thingness" as unity.  Bliss.  Source.  All there is.  Regardless of what it is called, there is only one animating consciousness, and everyone and everything is part of it.

So instead of looking outward and trying to make more somethings, go inward and see if you can relax into no-thing and no-oneness.  According to others who have "been there" and "done that," that is the end of all yearning.

Love,
The Energy Lady

How to Attract

Dear Energy Lady,
I've read a lot about the Law of Attraction, but it doesn't seem to work for me.  I'll think and visualize and try to feel what I want, but then...nothing.  What am I doing wrong?

Signed,
Not Attractive

Dear Attractive,
The problem with the Law of Attraction is that it suggests that there's something "out there" for you to attract, as if there is some kind of cosmic candy store and if you say and/or do the right things, you'll get some treats for yourself.  It assumes that everything you want is already created, and that all you have to do is reel it in...if you know how to fish in the field.

But that's not really how it works. Nothing is "out there"-- the field is a field of all possibilities.  It's all energy in an unformed state, waiting for us to act upon it with our free will.   Energy exists in a wave state until we fix our attention on a thing or an idea.  The wave then becomes a particle.  If you think about something a lot, you start to get many particles, and eventually, it starts to come together as matter.

So it's really the Law of Creation, since you're creating through thought and focus.  Think of it like a delicious stew.  As you add each ingredient to the pot, you see, touch and smell it.  You may also hear sizzling or bubbling or other cooking sounds.   You probably even start to taste the flavors coming together in your mind.  With your physical senses awakened, you may imagine what the finished stew will taste like, along with the rest of the meal--a salad, a glass of wine, a crusty bread, warm chocolate brownies--whatever.  You can probably imagine you and your family or significant other sitting down together to enjoy it.

Energy creating works in much the same way.  But instead of physical ingredients, you're "cooking" with feelings and non-physical traits, like love and joy.  Your ingredients are different types of feelings, typically of something that feels good to you.  Then you combine them in ways that only you can.  As you do, you imagine the outcome, and how much enjoyment it will bring not only to you, but to others.   When you're done, you have created something that has character, tone, intensity and other non-physical qualities.  It's as much of a creation as the stew, but in non-physical terms.

Then, like the stew, you need to enjoy it in its non-physical state.  So allow yourself to "digest" the delicious energy of what you've created.  And, just like food, let it nourish your spirit.  Really, truly enjoy it in thought, feeling and spirit.

And here's the trick--once you're "full" with the feeling and spirit of your creation, simply say "thank you" and "I bless this wonderful feeling" and then be done with it for now.  Stop trying to "attract" or "magnetize" it.  You ARE it, and it has become part of you.  Just like any love, it lives within you and in your energy field, whether it's with you physically or not.

Then just relax and go on to other things in your life.  Don't be surprised if the memory or feeling of your creation returns again and again--it should.  That's the idea.  When it does, close your eyes and enjoy it, and then let it go again.

If you want to make it show up sooner, sing to it or simply write down how it makes you feel and then read it your love letter.  Speaking and singing something into life is a very powerful energy practice. But again, let it go each time.  If you "want" or "need" it or doubt that it will show up,  it loses power and starts to dissolve back into the field.  If you love and enjoy its nature, it will gain energy and eventually transform into matter.  When that happens, it shows up in form as a person, thing or situation that is deeply, richly satisfying and/or delightfully surprising.

So start cooking up some good vibes, and enjoy!

Love,
EL