Knowing yourself as love

Dear Energy Lady,
I see that one of the principles of Fullistic Living is knowing yourself as love.  What does that mean?

Signed,
Curious

Dear Curious,
You know yourself in lots of ways.  Think of all the things that could follow the words, "I am."  For instance, you could say, "I am Jane (or whatever your name is)."  You could say, "I am from the Smith family."  Or, "I am a Hindi."  Or, " I am gay."  Or, "I am 43 years old."  Or, "I am an American."  Or, "I am an alumni from Trinity College."  Or, "I am tall."  Or, "I am a husband."  Or, "I am Black." Or, "I am good at math."  "I am a vegetarian."  "I am an astronaut."

There's really no end to this game--you can probably think of hundreds of things about yourself that you use to help identify who you are.

But here's the truth:  these are all things you have; they are not what you are.

What you are is love incarnate.   God is living through you, as you, to discover, experience and create more of him/her/itself (depending on your beliefs).

Now it might seem a little odd if people get introduced to you and you say, "I am love.  How do you do?"  So you use your roles, choices and physical traits to connect with others.  But here's the thing: you realize you can change any of it at any time.  Your name, your gender, your hair color, your marital status, your background--you can tell any kind of story about it that you want.  You're just making it all up.

But love is constant.  It's been with you all along.   Oh, for some people it may go into hiding, but it never goes away.  Most of us search for or want more love, and the irony is that it is us, and it's everyone else.  You need look no further than the mirror or the person in front of you.    

What does that mean?  Start looking at everything and everyone with the eyes of love.  See only their beauty, health and good.  Ignore everything else.  You'll soon start to see love everywhere.  The whole world lights up with it.  All you have to do is say, "I am looking at/thinking about/talking about love."  Do it 100 times a day.

Soon, you'll start to feel more love than you ever imagined possible.  And you'll know it is who you truly are.

In the Jewish tradition, there is a legend that after we die, we only get asked one question:  "What did you learn about love?"

Compare how you might answer that now with how you would 30 days from now if you practiced being love all day long.

Love,
EL

Choosing Energetically

Dear Energy Lady,
I often feel overwhelmed during the day--the work never stops coming!  I know my energy is off because I get headaches and feel exhausted, but I have no choice--it's what the job demands.  Any suggestions?

Signed,
Boxed In

Dear Boxed,
You are not alone--it's easy for most of us to get caught up in tasks that fill our heads, hands and hours, leaving us feeling exhausted.  But there is an energetic remedy:

Choice.

There are hundreds of choices that will give you more energy, and only you know every single one of them.   If you're wondering what they are, just start asking yourself, "what choice gives me energy now?" as many times a day as you can.

Before you pick up your to-do list:  "What choice gives me energy now?"
As you look at your email in-box:  "What choice gives me energy now?"
After you've worked for a couple of hours without a break:  "What choice gives me energy now?"
When you're interrupted when you don't want to be:  "What choice gives me energy now?"
When you're rushing to meet a deadline:  "What choice gives me energy now?"
When you're annoyed by a co-worker or a client, "What choices gives me energy now?"
When it's time to leave and there's more work to do:  "What choice gives me energy now?"

You will always feel, hear in your head or instinctively know the right answer, or you'll be given a sign as to what will give you the most energy.

Next comes the easy part:  follow your own advice.  Let your higher self lead the way, and you'll likely find that any choice that empowers, uplifts, relaxes or restores you not only gives you more energy, it also opens the flow of "coincidences" that make work even easier.  You'll still have the same amount of work, but it will get done a lot faster and with much less struggle and effort.  You'll also likely have energy at the end of the workday for the rest of your evening.

In other words, "Boxed," only you can unbox yourself.  So choose.  Choose for you, and you'll soon discover that by doing so, your choices support others because you'll be able to give higher service and will feel less resentful.  

Choose what works, here and now.  Give yourself energy, and you'll have more than what you need to make life work for you.

Love,
EL

Tired all weekend

Dear Energy Lady,
Weekends are supposed to be fun, right?  So how come I'm so tired all the time?  I can easily slip 12-14 hours each day, and then blam! it's Monday again.  Is there such a thing as using up all your energy?

Signed,
Zzzzzzz

Dear Zzzzzz,
Assuming you do not have any kind of medical condition and eat a balanced diet and are not drinking to excess or taking drugs (all of which can make you tired), then a few different things may be going on energetically:

1)  The mental energy you expend on your job may be wearing out your physical form.  Author Carolyn Myss notes that "your biography is your biology."  Pay attention to what you say about your work and job.  Do you say things like,"my work is killing me"?  Or,  "I have a load of work"?  Your body believes every word you say.  Try changing your language to things like, "I have a lot to do, but I'm working on it."  Or, "Work is challenging, but it's nothing I haven't seen before."

2) You may just like to sleep, and when there are no time demands, this is what your body does naturally.  So think of it as a mini-vacation.  When you go to a beach resort, what do you do all day?  Sleep in bed, on lounge chairs, on rafts in the pool or the ocean, etc.

3)  If you're a big dreamer, your higher self may be trying to get your attention.  Do you frequently recall what you've dreamt after a long sleep?  Do you see patterns or themes arising?  Sometimes, when we're growing energetically, we sleep more either to get dream messages or because our bodies are adjusting to a new, higher frequency.

4). If none of these seems true for you, then you may want to be more disciplined about forcing yourself to get up and get going.  Energy begets energy, so a body in motion will stay in motion.

Finally, if it feels like you're using the weekend to escape from your job and you just can't stand the thought of going to work on Monday, you may want to contact a career counselor.  Life's too short to do  work you hate.  Use the weekends to work on your résumé, update your Linked-In profile, network with friends and see what kind of jobs are available.

Love,
EL

Authenticity at work

Dear Energy Lady,

I keep going from job-to-job.  Everything looks and sounds great during the interview process, but once I'm there, it's always the same thing--people want you to "fit in."  I'm no crazy person, but I feel like I can't be authentic at work.   Should I just suck it up and realize that if I want a paycheck, I'm going to have to do and act like I'm told?

Signed,

Inauthentic

Dear Inauthentic,

I'm going to answer this on two levels: one practical; the other, energetic.

On a practical level:  when you say you want to be "authentic" at work, are you trying to sport tattoos and miniskirts in a bank environment?   Do you like to play loud music while you're at your desk?  Do you tell your supervisor to wait while you finish Tweeting?  Or conversely, are you wearing dark suits in a place where everyone dresses casually?  Do you try to get out of meetings because you're an introvert?  Are you driving everyone else crazy with your demands?

In other words, did you present an image of yourself during the interview process that's different than the one you feel is truly you, just so you could get the job?  

If that is not true, and you do--at least with surface appearances and behaviors--"fit in," then we need to dive deeper.  When you say you'd like to be "authentic," what does that mean?   There is a movie with Jim Carrey called "Liar Liar" where he plays a lawyer, and for one day, he is unable to tell any sort of lie.  In one scene, he insults his boss and all of his coworkers because he tells them what he really thinks of them, which isn't pretty.

That works in a movie, but in real life, being brutally honest with people isn't always the best idea.  However, if that is what you mean by authenticity, I would recommend getting some practice in doing collaborative dialogue so you can build trust and credibility with others.  That will give you more space to speak your truth.

However, if none of the above relates to your situation, you may just want to feel better about being yourself.  If this is so, it may be an energetic problem, which is why it is following you from job to job.  The energy is you, not the people or space you're in.   So try this:

1) Think of how you want to feel when you're "authentic."  What emotion would you attach to "authenticity"?  Relief?  Peacefulness?  Calm?  Joyfulness?  Openness?  Playfulness?   Focus on feelings, not actions.  Feelings come from our thoughts and beliefs, and generate our energy field.

2) Once you have identified the feeling, search your memory for another time when you felt it, in any situation.  Bring that image to life with your six senses as best you can.  Visualize that for at least 5 minutes, until you feel "like you" again. 

3) Then shift your focus to your workplace, and see what happens to the feeling.  Is there a place, person or situation that blocks it?  Or do your own thoughts come rushing in to challenge or undo it?

Most often, we block our own authenticity by our thoughts and beliefs.  We think we can't do or be or have something at work, and can often hear ourselves defending or explaining what we're doing.  This lowers our vibration and manifests people and circumstances that match it in tone and intensity, so we get "proof" that we cannot be ourselves.

But the problem is not others; it's us.  If you change your internal landscape to one of truth, your circumstances will reflect it.  Everything we live is an outpicturing of how we are, not who we are.  And when we get things we don't want, it could possibly be because we are connected to others' energy fields.

The truth is, there's nothing wrong with you.  You are perfect as you are.  And there's nothing wrong with others, either.  They are similarly perfect.  You're just unique, as is everyone else.  Welcome that.

If you want others to stop judging you, stop judging yourself as being "right" or "wrong" for a situation.  Stop judging others, too.  Remove judgement, and you'll release layers of stuck energy that have held you back.  

Remember one of the core Fullistic principles:  We are all one.  Nothing happens outside of your consciousness.  What is real is the love you are, not the fears and discomfort you have.

Tomorrow, I'll talk more about how to use the energies of love in the workplace.  

Love,

EL

What's the right job?

Dear Energy Lady,
Everyone says you should do the work you love.  Well, I love event planning.  I do it all the time for my friends, and they keep telling me I should open a business in it.  But I have a really good full-time job that pays well, and I don't want to give it up to be an entrepreneur at this point.  Am I shutting down my own energy?   Help!

Signed,
Torn

Dear Torn,
Don't worry--you can't shut down your energy, but you can lower or dull it.  You say you have a "really good" job, so I'm going to assume that you like it, enjoy it, and feel good about doing it.  If these three things aren't true, and the only reason why you're doing it is money, then you're pouring a lot of time and energy into something that is not only extremely limiting to your spirit, but also to any future success you may have, either as someone else's employee or as an entrepreneur.

You say you don't want to be an entrepreneur, but could that be because you really haven't allowed yourself to explore what that means?   Check your local community colleges and other sources for courses in opening a business.  Some communities have mentor organizations, or other organizations that help individuals start business.  If you're in the United States, check out the resources of the Small Business Administration.  Use LinkedIn or other networking sources to see if you can connect with successful party planners. 

In other words, you don't have to go into business; just allow yourself to think about and explore it.  This will open any energy you have around the subject in a simple, curious way.  You're not committing to anything but learning all you can.  And in the meantime, you can do your present job with a full heart, because instead of fighting it, you'll be accepting that this is where you are and need to be for now while you learn.

If, when you're done learning, you still decide that entrepreneurship is not for you, you can let the idea go without regret.  Again, this will provide relief, which always opens energy channels. 

If, however, you find that you are jealous of others who have left their jobs to open businesses they love; or if you find yourself excited about the possibility for yourself, then you can use energy to shift your situation in several ways:

1) Visualize a really fabulous party that you coordinated from start to finish.  Bring every detail to life, from the type of party, the season, the location, the clients, the colors, the food, the music and more.  Keep imagining it until you feel as if you're there.

2) Hold a focus group with your friends to see what they loved about the work you did.  Ask what the services were worth and what they would have paid if you were charging.

3) Network with other party resources to build a potential client list, get and make referrals. 

4) Use the Emotional Freedom Technique or the Sedona Method to clear mental and energy barriers to your success.

5) If you meditate, get into a state of happiness and thankfulness for this new creation that's emerging.  Then let it go.

Remember, too, that things can change in our lives at any time.  It could be that right now, going into business isn't right for you, but in another few years--or even after retirement--it might be perfect.  In other words, a dream can be fulfilled at any point in your life. 

Enjoy your creation!

Love,
EL

Which voice are you listening to?

Dear Energy Lady,
I have this awful, horrible voice in my head that practically mocks any positive thought I have.  Is there any way to turn this off?

Signed,
Bullied

Dear Bullied,
You can try meditation, which some say helps them quiet the voice in their head or at least helps them observe it as something separate from themselves.  But if you've tried that and it hasn't worked at all or as well as you want it to, then you'll need to try something else.

Remember this:  energetically, whatever you pay attention to gains energy and becomes stronger.  So you don't want to waste any time or effort trying to NOT make your mind think thoughts.  Doing that will just make a bad problem worse.

Instead, try refocusing.  Instead of listening to what's in your brain, listen to what's in your heart.  The mind of your heart is the one that's connected to universal, loving intelligence.  You will never hear an unloving or unsupportive thought there.

There are many great ways to get into your heart space, but one of the simplest is to imagine that you get in an elevator in your mind, and then take it down to your heart.  When the door opens--voila!  You're in your heart space.

If you want to test the difference between the two voices, try asking the same question in both places.  For instance, you can ask your mind if it likes your job.  You will likely hear all the reasons why you DON'T like it, not why you do.  Then drop into your heart space, and ask it if you like your job.  There, you will more likely hear all the reasons why it does work for you, or what to do if it doesn't.  But what you won't hear is the voice of complaint.

You'll also notice that the two voices change your vibration.  Our head voices tends to make us feel heavier, which indicates that our vibration is lowering.  Our heart voice usually makes us feel lighter and happier, which indicates that our vibration is rising.

Give it a try, and soon you'll discover that the voice in your head fades for lack of attention, and the voice of your heart becomes louder and clearer.

Love,
EL

Energy of guns

Dear Energy Lady,
I have been following the blogs and tweets about the tragedy in Boston, and even though this was a bombing, people are arguing about gun control.  Some are saying that this was an example of why we need gun control; others are saying this is why we shouldn't have it, so people can protect themselves.  What's the energy of this?

Signed,
Confused

Dear Confused,
There are a lot of mixed emotions about what happened in this situation, so it's not surprising that there's a lot of mixed energy.

First, this is not a crime about guns or bombs-it's a crime of hate.  And there are no laws that can govern or control what people think or how they feel.  So in terms of preventing it, we'd have to look more deeply into the terrorists' lives to see what they learned about love and why they were so disconnected from it.  Hate resonates low on the vibrational scale, and attracts others who are in a low emotional state.  In the days to come, we are likely to hear about others in the terrorists' network, and chances are good that their vibrational states will be low, too.

In terms of protecting oneself with a gun, again, the fear of harm vibrates at a low energy.  This said, many responsible gun owners do not own them because of fear.  They own them for legitimate sporting purposes or to protect home or livestock from predatory animals.  They would never think of "hunting" a human being.  So the energy they have around their guns is peaceful and/or awake and aware, which both have much higher vibrations.

If people want to argue gun control, let them.   But if someone starts up a conversation about love, join in, vigorously.  As I have said several times this week, situations like these beg questions like, "where is the love?"  And. "What can we learn about love from this?"

Fullistic life is about living love that is available to us in many dimensions.  If you want to truly feel safe, connect to the highest emotion you can; be grateful for the safety you have, and believe that all things turn out all right in the end.

Love,
EL

Serve up some love

Dear readers,
For those of you overseas, we had another tragedy in the United States yesterday.  In a small town of approximately 2,000 people in Texas, a fertilizer plant blew up.  It had the force of an earthquake.  Many people were killed, including volunteer fire fighters.  They don't know how many are dead yet.  Hundreds more have been injured.  Peoples' homes were destroyed, as was a nursing home.   In the wake of the mayhem in Boston on Monday, it almost seems impossible that something so tragic happen so soon.

As terrible as these events are, something happens in their wake that reminds us of our essence and the energy of support we all share: there is always an outpouring of love.  Tonight in West, the town in Texas that suffered the tragedy, neighbors were helping each other dig out of the rubble.   People got together and made a barbecue supper to feed anyone who was hungry.  By tomorrow, West will undoubtedly start to see good souls from neighboring towns and states who come to town strictly to help in any way they can.  And our nation is holding them in our hearts and prayers.

Back in Boston, a story has emerged of a man named Terry who saw a runner injured by the blasts.  Instead of turning away, he went and sat by her and held her hand until help arrived.  He said he felt a spiritual connection to her.  I think it was love--not the romantic kind, but rather, the kind that we are made of.

The thing is, tragedies make us vulnerable.  And when we are vulnerable, all the reasons why we resist love disappear.  But this begs the question:  why do we need trouble to show what we are truly made of and connect like this?

Imagine a world where anyone, any time could see the light in or around another.  If you believed you had a spiritual connection with every person you met, would you treat them differently?  And would you be different?  Would you still want to hide your light and love from strangers or casual acquaintances until something terrible happened?

We give our love to our family and friends, but often with expectations and conditions.  When trouble strikes, many of those conditions disappear.  We just give, without concern of reciprocity.  It just feels good to do so.  So why don't we feel just as good offering love under ordinary conditions?

So send your love to Boston.  Send it to West, Texas.  But also give it to the person who serves you your coffee at the local cafe.  Serve it to those you pass on the highway on your way to work.  Open your heart to your coworkers.  Give it to yourself when you look in the mirror.  Do not worry that you'll give all your love away and be left with none; doing this simply makes you a magnet to receive and give more.

Love is a gift on bad days, but it is also a gift on good ones.  Get your practice on the latter, and when the former comes, you'll be ready to help someone else out of their darkness.

Love,
EL

What's true, and what's the Truth?

Dear readers,
In the spirit of adding more safety and love to your world, I want to continue the thoughts of the last few days in response to the events in Boston.

A radio station here in the Twin Cities talked about the fact that breaking news is often bad news, but that it is better to face it than hide from it.  That may be true, but it's only half the story.  Energetically, current events may be true, but they are not Truth.  It is an important distinction.  Just because something is true does not make it the Truth.

Truth with a capital T is what lies beneath surface events.  And the Truth is that we are energy beings as well as human beings.  The Truth is that our energy originates in the Source of all life.  The Truth is that, as energy, we cannot be destroyed-only transformed.

So when bad things happen, if we expand our energy field and look at ourselves and the situation from a universal view, we will see, feel and be love before we even detect the tragedy that has taken place.  The Truth is that love is larger and more powerful than fear, and can transform panic into peace.

If we only believe what the news tells us, it would be easy to become frightened of life.  So consider separating what is true from the Truth of who you and everyone else is.  This is why, throughout history, good eventually triumphs over evil.  There is a saying, "everything turns out all right in the end, and if it's not all right, it's not the end."

Believe it, or better yet-be it.

Love,
EL

Love and Safety

Dear Energy Lady,
I can't believe what happened in Boston yesterday, and I'm really starting to think there's no place and no way to stay safe in this world.   What's the energy of all this terror?  Is there really any way to counteract it?

Signed,
Scared

Dear Scared,
Terrorist acts are outward evidence of intense fear, but if you look around, fear is everywhere.  We are exposed to violence constantly on TV shows, in movies and on video games.  Most of what our media reports is painful or shocking--good things rarely make the news.  Our advertisements tell us we're not thin enough, young enough, smart enough or lovable enough.  We compete with one another at work, creating winners and losers.  We are frightened of loss or pain, but we create it with our actions or think about it frequently.

So what is the energy of all this terror?  Low vibrations, kept low deliberately by continuing to stay connected to sources of pain or by the choice of keeping our negative thoughts.  What can counteract it?

Love.

I am NOT saying to love a terrorist or terrorist acts.  These are horrible and the perpetrators must be brought to justice.  But where there is terror, there is also great love.  You see it in the people who rush in to help.  You see it in forgiveness.  You see it in the victims who are sometimes able to make peace with themselves or those who brought them pain in spite of what happened.  You see it in all of the love, prayers and generosity of others who offer their support after a tragedy.

But here's the thing that you may be missing in all of this, and that is that like all people and things, the light of love--however diminished and distorted--exists in the being of a terrorist.  It is just lost or very confused.  This is a tragedy of a different kind, because once it has happened, it's hard to counteract.

So what can you do to stay safe?

First, on a practical note, you can always be aware of your surroundings, and report suspicious behavior or circumstances to the proper authorities.  There is no substitute for good old common sense.  You look both ways when you cross the street, don't you?

You can also trust that there are some very, very good people working in anti-terrorist agencies around the world, and they are doing everything in their power to prevent or solve these kinds of tragedies.

And if the news bothers you, stop watching it.  Read a good book or divert your attention to something soothing instead.

But equally as important, you can affirm and know that all of life is connected to Love.  It is our source; it is our being; and we are here to express and receive it.

The vibrations of safety start with you.  Begin each day making peace with yourself.  Bring yourself to a place of love and wellbeing before you leave the house.  Affirm safety when you go out, and look for evidence of it.  One of my favorite games is noting all the safe drivers on the highway as I go to work each morning.   I look for what is going right, and I am never disappointed.

Then as you see others, make eye contact with them.  Smile.  Really see the people around you.  Let your heart say, "I see you.  You are important.  You are loved."  There are countless stories of people who were ready to commit suicide or hurt others but changed their minds after someone showed them kindness and love.

If we all lived this way, I don't know if terrorism would disappear, but it would have a lot harder time of staying alive.  The vibrations would naturally rise around people who are kind and loving.  That's not just a hope; that's physics.

So live your life.  Stay happy.  Bring peace.  Love yourself and others.  And know that, at your essence, you are always safe.

Love,
EL

Keeping the world safe

Dear Readers,
In the wake of today's tragedy at the Boston Marathon, I wanted to forgo answering energy questions for a day to focus on a question:  what causes terror in our world, and what can we, as energetic beings, do about it?

Terror is fear turned inside out.  What causes fear?  Letting our minds rule our hearts and spirits.  I have no idea who committed this terrible crime or why, but I do know this:  had he or she been able to give and receive love freely, this could not have happened.

Love in its truest form has no opposite.  It just is, and when we allow it, we know it as ourselves.  Whoever did this has a very different definition of him/herself, and likely acted on the fear that without committing such a horrific act, he/she was small, powerless, worthless.

How does this happen?  How does an innocent infant grow up to be a terrorist?  What must they be told; how must they be treated and/or trained to create a killer?

I can only guess.  And it's not necessarily true that killers and terrorists received no love in childhood, experienced abuse or were exposed to excessive violence.   As history has shown, many notorious individuals had very loving, well-intended parents and positive youthful experiences.  Somewhere, somehow, something shifted from light to dark, either because of mental illness and/or choice.  

It's too late to do anything about the deaths and injuries in Boston other than send our abundant love and prayers  for healing and peace to the victims, their families, and everyone upset by this horror.  What would be even more tragic, though, would be if we allowed this event to prevent us from living freely and going where we want to go.  If we allow fear to beget more fear, then terror wins.

This is not to say that we should not use reasonable caution and common sense, or to say that we should not engage our law enforcement officers to protect us.  But there is one critical thing we all can do:  bring ourselves as love to the world, without conditions.  For one of the truths about energy is that when the vibration is high enough, it becomes impossible to harm another.

So let's love those around us.  Let's express gratitude; feel joy; relax into bliss and peace.  Let's do this not just for ourselves, but because people vibrating at a level about 500 can raise the vibrations of hundreds of others.

Imagine if all the loving, non-violent people in the world focused on being the highest vibration possible.  What would happen to terror and terrorist acts then?  Is it possible that love, not surveillance and fear, is what will ultimately keep us safe?

Tomorrow, look into the face of every person you encounter and think, "I am love, and it is love that I see before me."  Let's bring the light that will dispel the darkness.  

Love,
EL

Energy vampires at work

Dear Energy Lady,
I have a couple of colleagues who are real energy vampires.  No matter what the topic, they can find a way to say something negative about it.  It's really hard to be in meetings with them; I always end up leaving with a headache.  Is there anything I can do about them energetically?

Signed,
Exhausted

Dear Exhausted,
It is easy for anyone of lower vibrational energy to pull yours down, which will make you feel heavy, tired and achy.   Remember that your natural state is one of happiness and joy, and you're meant to feel like a leaf floating along on the surface of a constant, clear stream to destinations that are pleasing to you.

There are two things you can do to protect yourself:
1) Raise your vibration as high as you can, and you'll likely find that you either won't be invited to the meeting they're in, or you'll have something else that gets in the way of your going.  In other words, when people are on different vibrational planes, their paths rarely cross.  So focus on what makes you happy and delighted at work.  Smile often.  Use music to uplift yourself, and maybe even dance in your office.  Meditate for a few minutes if you can.  Apply Feng Shui principles to your office so the energy flow is as good as it can be.  In other words, get happy.  Often, that is enough to put you on a different plane of experience than they.

2) If you do find yourself in the same space as they are, sit quietly and imagine a flow of loving energy coming down from above you and also up from the center of the earth, meeting in the space around your heart.  Then open your heart and let the light surround you in all directions, 360-degrees (remember to let it go beneath and above you as well).   Next, imagine that the outside of the bubble is rubber-like, so that any negative energies that come hear bounce off and away from you.  

If you feel comfortable, you can also try a third, more mind-based approach.  Whenever one of these people starts in on the negative, simply ask, "Do you have anything good to say on this subject?  I like to speak positively of people and things, and would like to focus on the good."  If they say no, then say, "Well, whenever you'd like to look at what's going right instead of what's going wrong, let me know.  I'll be glad to talk more about it then."  Then walk away.   I once did this with a friend, and believe it or not, it took her 5 YEARS to get back to me.  When I wouldn't listen to her negativity, she kept finding people who would, until she finally ran out of people and went for therapy.  The therapist really helped her a lot, and today, we're able to have good conversations without them turning negative.

Love,
EL

Hard on myself

Dear Energy Lady,
I believe in self-improvement.  I'm always trying to make myself better.  But things never seem to get much easier for me.  Shouldn't getting better raise my vibration and make me attractive to better stuff?

Signed,
Confused

Dear Confused,
I don't know you, so I can only ask this: are you tough on yourself?  If you're always telling yourself you're not good enough and need to improve, then you're not raising your vibration; you're probably lowering it by telling yourself you're not all right as you are.

And if the reason you're trying to get "better" is because you think wherever or whatever you are now isn't ok, then again, you're reinforcing low vibrations of things like doubt and fear, not higher ones of joy and love.

Imagine this: you are divine, just as you are.  Now what do you want to do?  You can't get any better than that.  So if you don't have to improve, what would you love to do instead?

But if you're getting better because you're growing out of doubt and fear of being small, then yes, you are raising your vibration and setting yourself free.

Only you know what's true for you.  If your efforts make you feel light and free, then you're moving in the right direction.  If not, let go and lighten up on yourself.

Love,
EL

What to do with a victim mentality

Dear Energy Lady,
I work with a man who's really good at being a victim.  No matter what happens, he's able to twist it around so it looks like someone's out to get him.  It's really frustrating, and I'm really tired of it.  Anything I can do energetically either to help myself or him?

Signed,
Want to run every time I see him

Dear Run,
A victim mentality is a sign that he's operating at a very low frequency.   He really needs to raise himself up by either letting go of the victim mentality or embracing the idea of love, joy and gratitude, but that's for him to decide.

You can do two things that will definitely help you, and might help him.

First, for yourself, put a veil of energy protection around yourself when you're with him.  Open your heart and release the light there, until you can sense that you are surrounded, 360 degrees, by a protective light.  Alternately, you can bring light down from the heavens and feel it drop down around you.  This way, you can stay in the vibration of love whenever you're near him, regardless of how he may be feeling.

For him, you can try two things.  First, remember that you ARE love, housed in a container designed for its expression.  So if you're not in his physical presence and are thinking of him, try cupping your hands and imagining the word "love" in the bowl.  When your hands start tingling or feeling warm, hold them up and release the love, sending it in his direction.  Say, "(Name), I offer you my love, without conditions.  I see you as strong, healthy and successful."

The second idea is for when you are physically present with him.  Look at him not as he is, but as the divine expression he is meant to be.  See him happy and whole.  Know that all is well with him, even if he can't see that himself.  Be the light that he needs to get out of his darkness.  See the truth of him--that he is perfect--not the lie he has created for himself.  You don't need to say these words; just hold the knowing.  Whatever you do, do NOT acknowledge anything to do with his being a victim, and don't be sympathetic.  That just causes the energy to be stuck.

P.S.  This is one of the most loving things you can do for another person.   And what you do for others, you do for yourself.

Love,
EL

Too much work!

Dear Energy Lady,
I'm swamped.  My boss just keeps piling on more and more work, and all of it is supposedly high priority.  There's no way I can do it all--there just aren't enough hours in the day.  Do I need to quit, or is there something I can do energetically to help myself?

Signed,
Burning out fast

Dear Burning,
Your situation is not unique: I hear it a lot these days.  Companies are running a lot leaner than they used to be, so it seems like everyone is expecting more from less staff.

So yes, there are actually many things you can do Fullistically, which means using multiple levels of awareness and energy.

Let's start with just some plain common sense on the physical plane.  You're going to need to get organized.  List everything you have to do.  Next to each one, estimate the approximate number of days/hours it will take to complete that project/step.  Then look at the number of hours you're willing and/or able to work in the week without getting burned out. It's possible that you have more to do in a week than there are hours to do them.  If that is the case, show the list to your boss and have a discussion about prioritizing what should come first, second, third, etc.  If you can determine those priorities yourself, that's even better, since that will give you more control over your time.

As you do this, consider the 80/20 rule, which states that 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts.  When people have multiple priorities, they tend to spend little bits of time on the lower 80% of things that really don't have the payoff that the top 20% do.  So look at the things that, if you do them, will give you the most leverage with the other things on your list.

Next, look at where you're wasting time, effort and energy.  If you're constantly getting interrupted, find a conference room or other place where you can work alone.  If your email is constantly dinging, close Outlook for the entire time you're working on something, so neither the bell nor the pop-ups bother you.  Remember that multi-tasking is NOT effective, as the human brain can only focus on one thing at a time.  So if you're trying to do your work that way, you're actually mini-tasking, which is truly exhausting and largely unproductive.   If you can't move a project forward because you're waiting on someone or something, reprioritize so you can focus on where you can be productive now.

In other words, wake up and take control as best you can.

Then, once you have done that, you can try this energetic approach:  Choose your focus for the morning, afternoon, day--or even just the next 20 minutes.  Then say, "I am choosing to give my complete, loving attention to this and only this right now, and I ask for all the resources I need--physical and non-physical--to show up now so I can be as efficient and as effective as possible. I am open to receiving help from any and all sources that will make this so."  

Then go to work.  You'll likely find yourself receiving "hits" of intuition; finding files or bits of information that are exactly what you need; receiving a phone call with an important answer, or something else that will make things go more smoothly.

As things begin to roll for you, you can add, "...and I welcome any and all resources from this dimension or any other that help move the rest of my work forward in a productive way."  That will eliminate worrying or thinking about the rest of your work.   Return your focus to your chosen project.  You will undoubtedly find that when you're ready to take a break that emails or other things have entered that contribute to your success in the other areas, because you are not blocking them with doubtful or negative energy.

All this takes is for you to focus on what you DO want, not what you don't.  Instead of thinking or saying, "I'll never get this all done," affirm:  "This IS all done, right here and now, through the multiverses of energy, information and love available to me now."

Remember--you're not alone, and there's a lot more to you than just your physical body and being.  Use the power of your multiple energy fields to help you achieve more than you ever thought possible.

Love,
EL

The energy of prayer

Dear Energy Lady,
I pray every day.  It feels like my energy rises every time I do it, but I'm not sure.  Any comments?

Signed,
God gives good vibes

Dear Good Vibes,
Yes, prayer can do wonders for raising your vibrational energy, depending on how you are as you pray.  If you are surrendering your doubts and fears without condition, praying will raise you up by throwing off the negative vibrations you've been carrying.  If you are thanking God and are in a state of high gratitude, your vibration will also rise.  If you are angry with God, however, and your prayer is full of "why me's?" and a feeling of victimization, you're probably not helping yourself much.  You're also not going to get any good vibes from asking for the destruction of something or someone you hate.   So you have to pray with good intention and love.

A simple but powerful prayer reflects something God says in the book of Genesis.  Look at anything or anyone before you, and say, "This is good."  Blessing others is a way to connect with God's creation in a powerful, loving way.  It instantly raises your vibrations, which often, can be felt by those you bless. Anne Lamott has a book on three basic prayers:  "Help"  "Thanks" and "Wow!"  All three have the power to lift you up.

Also, know that prayers done with loving intention can impact others positively.  You can send a prayer to anyone, any time, anywhere on the planet.  Its energy can be felt, especially if the person is in a vulnerable state (as in illness).  For more information, read Larry Dossey's books, "Prayer is Good Medicine" or "Healing Words."

Here is a positive prayer from Robin L. Silverman's book, "The Ten Gifts."   It can also help you raise your vibration:

"Creator, Friend, Lover of Life--
I bring You my peace.
It is the best that it can be right now,
And I offer it with all my heart and soul.
Deliver me to those who are ready to share it,
Willing to be a blessing to one another, and to You.
Help me to use my gifts fearlessly,
So that my presence brings joy to the life of the world.
Be with me, God, in every moment
As the love and beauty that inspires good.
Fill me with yes,
Yes..
Ten thousand times: 'Yes!'
For I am here to embrace the life You have given me.
Let there be peace for me and for everyone
Today, and always.
Amen."

Pray on!
Love,
EL

Out of control thinking

Dear Energy Lady,
Does thinking raise or lower your vibration?  Mine is kind of wild-mostly scary.  Since there's no switch in my brain, what am I supposed to do?

Signed,
Head Game

Dear Game,
Thinking is a little game we play with ourselves.  It can raise your vibration when it's focused on something positive, but if you're forcing those positive thoughts because your beliefs are really negative, then those positive thoughts don't do much to raise your vibration.  In fact, the stress of trying to be positive when you're feeling negative actually limits or lowers your vibration.  But if the positive thoughts are of gratitude, love and joy, then yes-they can help raise your vibration.

But negative thoughts are not so bad, depending on what you do with them.  If you use them for contrast to determine what you do want, then they can be seen as helpful in the creative process.

You said, however, that your thoughts are scary.  So in your case, they're probably lowering your vibration.

What can you do?  Several things.  Try catching yourself in the act of thinking them.  Then watch them, as if someone else were having them.  They lose their power as soon as you objectify them.   You can also try enlarging your energy field until it covers the earth.  From that viewpoint, your "scary" thoughts will seem pretty small and insignificant.

You can also try meditating.  That's the most time-honored way of lowering the volume on your thoughts.

For other ways to get your thoughts under control, check out the Sedona Method, The Work by Byron Katie, or anything in the Buddhist tradition.

Love,
EL

Raise your vibration for a great new week!

Happy New Week!
If the thought of Mondays doesn't thrill you, perhaps it's because you're not aware of the love that is within you and all around you.  See if the following doesn't change your week for the better:

1) When you wake up Monday morning (or any morning, for that matter), smile before you get out of bed.  You've seen me write several times that it is biologically impossible to feel bad when you're smiling, so you just raised your vibration before you even set foot on the floor.

2) Turn on some music while you're exercising or showering--the kind that makes you feel happy, bright and energized.  Let yourself dance!

3) As many times as you are able, say, "I am love, and everything I see before me is love incarnate."  The more you say it, the faster you'll realize that there isn't anything that isn't made of the energies of love, which vibrate at 500 or above.

4) Make eye contact with people, and again, smile.  There is a street performer named Marcus Young who will take as long as 3 hours to walk around one block.  His art?  Making eye contact with each person he sees, and giving them a smile.   One time when he did this, a young boy walked up to him and said, "Are you Jesus?"

5) If you start feeling negative during the day, Eckhart Tolle has written that you can try tuning into each area of your body, starting with your feet and moving up to your head.  As he suggests:  feel the aliveness!  When you get to your head, see if you can feel the vibration of your entire body as one energy unit.  Glow on!

6) Note how much lighter and brighter you feel when you're focused on seeing love or the opportunity to give or receive kindness, respect, caring and gratitude.   Then notice how many things are going right during the day, or at least not going wrong.

The higher your vibration, the better you feel and the more unblocked you are.  In that state, things can't help but go better for you.

Enjoy!
Love,
EL

Raising your vibration instantly

Dear Readers,
Continuing the theme from yesterday of having fun with energy this weekend, here's a quick, easy way to raise your vibration.  Remember that when you do this, you also raise the vibration of those around you, so you both feel good!   And if you raise your vibration without having a specific outcome in mind, you will likely find yourself having experiences even better than those you might have chosen for yourself.

So...ready?  To raise your vibration quickly and easily, do this:

Stop lowering it.

Yes, it is that simple.  You are naturally vibrant and buoyant.  It's only the stories, judgments, criticisms, doubts and other negative stuff that brings us down.  So knock it off.

Just stop doing it.  Catch yourself.  Every time you feel yourself thinking something negative about yourself or anyone/anything else, stop.  You don't have to be positive or find false reasons to praise.  Just don't be negative.  Let people and things be as they are.  You can think or say, "Oh, how interesting"  or "this is what I see" and then describe things objectively, without editorializing or stating an opinion.

So let a few of your negatives go.  Let them all go if you can.  You'll be amazed at how much lighter you feel.

Then smile, because the world will be smiling back at you.

Love,
EL

Playing with energy balls

Dear Readers,
With the weekend coming, I just wanted to share a fun technique that might yield you some delightful surprises by Monday morning.

It's called "tossing energy balls."  The fun part is that you won't immediately know who you're playing with, but at some point, you will.  You create and "toss" a ball of energy that's been infused with an intention out into the zero point field, knowing that it will become a point of light and attract similar energy to it.  When it does, you may (or may not) get a response from whoever else is looking for surprise and wonder.

Here's how you do it:   Start with a clear intention of what kind of energy you want to put out into the world.  Some examples are love, kindness, hope, caring, joy, gratitude, innovation, growth or transformation.  Use your imagination and choose an emotion, state of being or idea that you would like to "plant" out in the field.

Then take your hands and have your palms face each other, pointing forward, about 2" apart (not sure of the conversation to centimeters).  Keeping the centers of your palms close at all times, start making forward circles first with your left hand, then with your right, similar to rubbing both sides of a bass drum. The two hands should not be in sync, but rather, rotating so that one is moving forward while the other is moving backward.  But again, keep the centers of your palms about 2" apart the whole time.

Soon, you will feel energy "waking up" between your hands.  You might feel heat or tingling, or a fullness that tells you something is there.  Once you feel it, bend your fingers in and keep making the rotating circles.  Then move your hands in and out, again--palms facing each other.   In a couple of minutes, you should feel that you're holding an energy ball.  (Some of you may actually see the energy, but most will only feel it).

Once you're sure that it's there, use your imagination to "write" your intended word on the ball, or imagine it appearing inside the ball.  You may want to add color, scent or sound to your ball to give it additional energy.  You can make the ball any size you want.

When the ball is exactly the way you'd like it, toss it into the field.  Just release it, knowing it will go where and when it's needed.   You can make and launch as many energy balls as you like.  If this is your first time, try to keep them all within a theme so the combined energy is more vibrant.  If you make them on many different subjects and with very different intentions, you may not get much of a response.

Here's what can happen.  A friend of mine was visiting a major U.S. city, and had a dream that she was supposed to call a certain woman who lived there.  She did not know this woman, but when she looked her up, there was only one person of that name in the area.   She felt a little silly, but she called the woman and told her about the dream.  The woman answered, "Oh!  I put energy out into the field last night, and I was wondering who would receive and respond to it!"

So have fun.  Play ball!

Love,
EL

Controlling control freaks

Dear Energy Lady,
I saw your post about negative people in the workplace, but I'm wondering if there's any way I can use energy to "wake up" people who seem completely unaware that they're control freaks and bully everyone.  I can't believe they really want to be jerks--most of them seem like ok people when they're not under pressure.  Any thoughts?

Signed,
PL

Dear PL,
There are three ways you can try doing this.  One involves body; one the mind; and the third, the spirit.

For the body:  Simply say to the person, "you seem really stressed today.  Is everything ok?"  Or you can try some positive psychology:  "Let's focus on the outcome we want to create, and share the responsibilities."  Or you can try, "I know you don't mean to be this way, but you're coming across a little rough.   What's bothering you?"  If that doesn't work, you can try being direct (depending on who it is--I wouldn't recommend this with your boss):  "I don't need to be controlled.  Knock it off."

For the mind: Send positive thoughts to the person.  Try, "You're always calm and focused" or "I believe in you, and all is well."  Just do it over and over and over.  The benefit of this approach is that anything you think or send to another, you do to/for yourself as well.

For the spirit:  Open your heart and fill your etheric body with the pink light of pure love.  Reach out and energetically "hug" the person who's behaving badly.

Whatever you decide to try, form an intention first.  Are you just trying to control them?  That won't do anything but perpetuate the problem for both of you.  Wake yourself up to the love you know both you and they are, and then follow your intuition and guidance from there.

Love,
EL

Can't keep up my vibration at work

Dear Energy Lady,
I do everything I can to raise my vibration and keep it high.  I meditate at dawn, eat natural foods, only read or watch things that make me feel good, and try to remain as mindful as I can throughout the day.   The problem is that inevitably, I run into some energy vampire or customer problem that immediately throws me down into the range of anger or doubt.  What can I do about that?

Signed,
C.G.

Dear C,
You're describing a situation that most of us have experienced.  Even with the best intentions, we can find ourselves impacted by others with strong negative energy, and it can, indeed, pull us down.

As I have said many times, we cannot create in another's life.  But this said, we are all aspects of the same divine source, so it's possible to connect at a core level.

So try one of these approaches:
--Once you have yourself in a good vibrational state in the morning, put on a veil of protective white or pink light to keep out all energy that isn't loving or of higher vibration.  You can visualize this by focusing on your heart and letting the energy out around you, 360-degrees.  Or you can physically stand up, reach down and pull it up from the earth until it covers your body and over your head.

--Another thing you can try is to affirm, "I am love, and love surrounds and protects me from all negativity as I go about my day."  You can also use an affirmation before you walk in the door of your workplace:  "I intend to stay in the vibration of love today at work, regardless of circumstances."

--A third approach is to use the negative situation for love practice.  As you are being "attacked" vibrationally, send out a stream of unconditional love for the person or the situation.  Just love, love, love, love.  See the situation from a divine, not a human perspective.  Miracles can happen this way.

--Another idea is to see if the negative situation in any way represents unresolved anger, fear, doubt, etc. in you.  If so, an approach like Byron Katie's "The Work" might help you surface and resolve it once and for all.  www.thework.com  (look at resources; use the "Judge Your Neighbor" worksheet and then call one of their free facilitators to help you through it)

--Finally, you can try expanding your etheric body to cover your entire workplace.  Then open your heart and fill it with green light and love.  In other words, change the vibrational environment and see if that doesn't change things for the better.

Wishing you a peaceful day at work!

Love,
EL

Getting out of your head and into your life

Dear Energy Lady,
My mind goes non-stop.  Most of the time, I don't like what it says.  Any suggestions?

Signed,
Is there a shut-off switch for thinking?

Dear Switch,
It's true that our minds are meant to serve us, but most of the time, we're serving them.  We have about 50,000 thoughts each day, but supposedly, more than 40,000 of them are negative.  This is for three reasons:

1) The negative keeps us safe.  It's our survival instinct telling us what not to do so we can protect ourselves.

2) We socialize along the lines of the negative.  If someone asks how you are and you go on and on about how wonderful your life is, they are likely to want to end the conversation fairly quickly.  You often hear people say, "I share/feel your pain," but not, "I share your happiness."

3) If nothing ever went wrong, we would have nothing to do.  Think of the movie "Pleasantville."  Things were so nice that life was terribly boring.

So we have a parade of negative thoughts all day that supposedly keep us safe, give us friends and help us stay busy.  You can use them to stir your energy to make something good happen, but if they're getting in the way of your feeling happy and blissful, then it's time to stop paying so much attention to them.   Higher forms of information and experience await.

One of the easiest ways to access this higher vibration is to get out of your head is to get into your life.  Try it right now.  Wherever you are, stop and look around.  Notice as many details as you can.  Where are you sitting?  What do you see?  What do you hear?  Is there any kind of smell or aroma in the air?  Who's with you?  What are they doing/not doing?  What makes this moment unique?

You'll likely find that the more you look around and take in what is in your immediate surroundings, the safer and more relaxed you'll feel--it's rare when there's anything wrong with the present moment.  When you do this, the voice of your "monkey mind" fades away..  When you're relaxed and open, higher mind intuition and messages can finally reach you.

So try accessing more of the love that's here for you in your energy field by loving the moment you're in right now.  Notice it the way you would the details of a new lover.  You'll find yourself more satisfied and connected to your higher energies than ever before.

Love,
EL

Goal getting

Dear Energy Lady,
My mind is filled with goals, but even when I get started on them, I never seem to reach them.   Is there anything I can do energetically to change that?

Signed,
Weary of trying

Dear Weary,
This is going to sound crazy, but stop trying to reach your goals.  The key word in that sentence is "trying."  When you "try," you basically disconnect yourself from having your goals fulfilled.   Energetically, you can't both "try" and "have."  You have to make a choice.  So choose "have."

I can hear your argument--"but I don't have the goals, and my body knows that I'm lying!"  So consider this:  your thoughts originate not in your brain, but in your mental body.  By the time you're aware of them, they have come through several different dimensions.  So you actually do "have" them, or rather--they have "had" you for quite some time.  They're yours in their vibrational state; they're attached to you, and they've been around long enough that you can't help but want to experience them in physical form.

OK, now I hear you saying, "But I haven't manifested them!"  Again, yes you have--the thoughts are your proof.  What you haven't done is take action on them and/or fulfill them in the physical world.  And that's an entirely different thing.

So here's another perspective.  The problem with reaching goals is just that--there's a mental separation between where you are now and where you'll be when you complete them.  In that separation is time, effort, space, etc.  But all that is just mind junk, since in the quantum universe, time is not linear and effort is not needed.  If you don't believe me, just visualize the result out loud.  Imagine not that you are at the starting line, but at the finish line, with your goal fulfilled.  Close your eyes and describe what you see, hear, smell, taste and feel when your happy ending has come true.  By doing this, you've made your goal come true in this moment.  That's really all you need to do to start bringing in what you need to experience it in physical form.  

If that's too esoteric, here's an easy trick to try:  just find something fun to do that gets you started.  As Yoda said in Star Wars, "Do or not do.  There is no try."  Or, as Nike says, "Just do it."  But make sure you're enjoying yourself.  As long as you're enjoying what you're doing, you're resonating with the feeling of having the result of the goal.   If you're not, question the goal.  Is this something you think you should want, or something that you FEEL that you want?  If it's the former, that may be one reason why you're not fulfilling the goals.  If it's the latter, then just keep doing one more thing each day that feels great and moves you forward.

So stop goal SETTING, and start goal GETTING.  Get that you already have it, or you couldn't be thinking about it.  Get that you are an energetic being, and that "trying" isn't necessary.  Get the feeling of having the goal fulfilled. And then get going and have some fun!

Love,
EL