I keep going from job-to-job. Everything looks and sounds great during the interview process, but once I'm there, it's always the same thing--people want you to "fit in." I'm no crazy person, but I feel like I can't be authentic at work. Should I just suck it up and realize that if I want a paycheck, I'm going to have to do and act like I'm told?
Signed,
Inauthentic
Dear Inauthentic,
I'm going to answer this on two levels: one practical; the other, energetic.
On a practical level: when you say you want to be "authentic" at work, are you trying to sport tattoos and miniskirts in a bank environment? Do you like to play loud music while you're at your desk? Do you tell your supervisor to wait while you finish Tweeting? Or conversely, are you wearing dark suits in a place where everyone dresses casually? Do you try to get out of meetings because you're an introvert? Are you driving everyone else crazy with your demands?
In other words, did you present an image of yourself during the interview process that's different than the one you feel is truly you, just so you could get the job?
If that is not true, and you do--at least with surface appearances and behaviors--"fit in," then we need to dive deeper. When you say you'd like to be "authentic," what does that mean? There is a movie with Jim Carrey called "Liar Liar" where he plays a lawyer, and for one day, he is unable to tell any sort of lie. In one scene, he insults his boss and all of his coworkers because he tells them what he really thinks of them, which isn't pretty.
That works in a movie, but in real life, being brutally honest with people isn't always the best idea. However, if that is what you mean by authenticity, I would recommend getting some practice in doing collaborative dialogue so you can build trust and credibility with others. That will give you more space to speak your truth.
However, if none of the above relates to your situation, you may just want to feel better about being yourself. If this is so, it may be an energetic problem, which is why it is following you from job to job. The energy is you, not the people or space you're in. So try this:
1) Think of how you want to feel when you're "authentic." What emotion would you attach to "authenticity"? Relief? Peacefulness? Calm? Joyfulness? Openness? Playfulness? Focus on feelings, not actions. Feelings come from our thoughts and beliefs, and generate our energy field.
2) Once you have identified the feeling, search your memory for another time when you felt it, in any situation. Bring that image to life with your six senses as best you can. Visualize that for at least 5 minutes, until you feel "like you" again.
3) Then shift your focus to your workplace, and see what happens to the feeling. Is there a place, person or situation that blocks it? Or do your own thoughts come rushing in to challenge or undo it?
Most often, we block our own authenticity by our thoughts and beliefs. We think we can't do or be or have something at work, and can often hear ourselves defending or explaining what we're doing. This lowers our vibration and manifests people and circumstances that match it in tone and intensity, so we get "proof" that we cannot be ourselves.
But the problem is not others; it's us. If you change your internal landscape to one of truth, your circumstances will reflect it. Everything we live is an outpicturing of how we are, not who we are. And when we get things we don't want, it could possibly be because we are connected to others' energy fields.
The truth is, there's nothing wrong with you. You are perfect as you are. And there's nothing wrong with others, either. They are similarly perfect. You're just unique, as is everyone else. Welcome that.
If you want others to stop judging you, stop judging yourself as being "right" or "wrong" for a situation. Stop judging others, too. Remove judgement, and you'll release layers of stuck energy that have held you back.
Remember one of the core Fullistic principles: We are all one. Nothing happens outside of your consciousness. What is real is the love you are, not the fears and discomfort you have.
Tomorrow, I'll talk more about how to use the energies of love in the workplace.
Love,
EL
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