Dear Energy Lady

Dear Energy Lady,
I have a relative who's an energy vampire.  After spending as little as 20 minutes with her, I'm utterly exhausted and feeling sick.  Then I can't shake her energy for days afterwards.   The result, of course, is that I end up attracting things I don't want, which just makes things worse.

Any advice?

Signed,
Wish I had an energy shield

Dear Shield,
It's true that some people give off really negative vibrations.  If your relative is both thinking and saying negative things constantly, like complaining or gossiping, then he or she is likely to be experiencing a lot of problems in his/her life, which just leads to more negative talk.  So he or she is really stuck in a vicious cycle of negative creating.  And yes, you can get caught in it, since our energy bodies--particularly when fueled by strong emotion--can reach a far distance and will suffocate weaker energy fields.

You probably already know that we can't change other people; we all have free will.   But there are things you can do energetically to improve your experience with this person.

First, if you know s/he is coming, you can prepare yourself energetically.  Sitting or standing, state your intention out loud, something like, "I choose to be in ________'s presence without causing or receiving harm."  Or, as an alternative, "I am safe in ________'s presence, as I am protected by love."

Then, imagine what it means to be present without causing or receiving harm.  What comes to mind?  A shield?  A bubble of light?  Find an image that's authentic to you.  The same thing with protection.  What does love look, sound or feel like to you?  How would it protect you?

After you have your image of protection, you'll need to know how to be energetically in her presence.  The most loving thing you can do is allow him/her to talk without answering.  Just allow his/her words to flow without commenting-just listen.  As you do, since you are full protected, drop your focus into your heart and imagine a golden light there.  Feed it with love until it glows brighter and brighter.  There's nothing more you need to do with it: you are now the presence of love.

Your relative will feel this, and one of three things will happen.  It will either a) change his/her behavior, so that the conversation becomes more neutral or b) your relative will grow quiet or c) leave the room.

Occasionally, the presence of light makes a negative person even more agitated, because the contrast is too great.  If this happens, then feel free to say, "I can see this conversation is painful for you, so let's leave it for now." Then leave the room, and wait until the person has a chance to settle down.  You can also excuse yourself if the conversation is causing you any pain (which hopefully, it isn't, since you're in your protective bubble).

If you have difficulty doing any of the above, then, as a last resort, you can imagine a mirror.  Mentally place it facing out, towards your relative.  What this does is that when she/he speaks, it reflects the negative energy of the comments back to him/her.  Usually, the pain of this is so great that the person stops talking and leaves the room.

Again, please remember that this is not about the other person needing or having to change.  It's an opportunity for you to experience both your divine nature and the joy of using your energy field for positive purposes, first--for yourself, and second--in service to others.  And even if your relative doesn't change, know that you have given him/her a great gift that someday he/she may receive and accept.

Love,
EL