Not enough time

Dear Energy Lady,
I never have enough time to do anything I want.  My days and nights are taken up with what my boss, clients and colleagues need, and when I get home, everything is about my husband and my kids.  I haven't read a book since 1997, and the idea of getting away to a spa or a weekend with my girlfriends is almost absurd.

Signed,
Exhausted

Dear Exhausted,
This isn't a time management problem.  You have plenty of time, and you're doing exactly the things you want.  If my saying that makes you angry, think:  I chose this job, this man and to become a parent.  I decide how to plan, organize, share and/or delegate my work and responsibilities.  There are tons of books, blogs and talk shows that can teach me time management, how to speak up for what I need in both the workplace and home, and/or focusing my efforts on what is important and satisfying, but I am choosing to ignore them, or not follow their advice because it's easier to complain and my girlfriends give me more sympathy if I'm a victim than if I had my act together.

Believe it or not, you're not exhausted from all you have to do.  You're exhausted because you're giving away your energy and not allowing yourself to receive any back.  Instead of crossing items off your "to do" list, start giving yourself gold stars for every one you accomplish.  When you talk about your day at work, focus on what you moved forward or accomplished, not on what you didn't get done.  Allow yourself to take pride in, enjoy or share your children's happiness.  Put audiobooks in the car.  Swap massages with your husband.  Bring espresso and biscotti for your girlfriends as you watch your kids play.

You can't run  a car without fuel.   You can't run a life without happiness.  Start taking more of what yours has to offer, and you'll soon change your signature to "Exhilerated!"

Love,
The Energy Lady