How to sell more

Dear Energy Lady,
I sell for a big company.  They just upped our goals, and for the first time, I'm falling behind.  Any energetic suggestions?

Signed,
Eager to make my numbers

Dear Numbers,
It's hard to tell from your letter what the definition of "falling behind" is.  In other words, were you the #1 salesperson before the goals were raised?  Or were you just a member of the pack, doing the same as everyone else and now they're ahead of you?

Either way, here are a couple of questions that might help unblock you energetically:

--If you've never been top salesperson, have you always wanted to be?  If so, you will need to break through the pattern of believing you're one of the pack.   However, if doing so would somehow make you lose the closeness you felt with the rest of the team, you might be resistant to breaking out ahead of everyone else.  That resistance would make it difficult, or even impossible, for new or bigger opportunities to reach you.

--If you were the top salesperson before but have now fallen behind, then ask yourself two questions:  1) what others are now doing differently that is helping them connect with more clients and/or 2) what has changed in either your own belief and behavior?  These are very left-brained, logical questions, but sometimes energy flow is blocked by something as simple as a few habits that just need to be aligned with the new reality.

Here are some other things that might help:

--Meditation.  Relaxing completely--letting go of thoughts and feelings--can open doors of possibility that you could never even imagine.   So if you have simply been stumped by who you might need to contact, this approach could help enormously. 

--If your thoughts are too wild for meditating, try exercise or doing any other activity that allows you to forget about work for a while.  Again, taking your attention off what isn't happening is a good way to release the blocking energy around it.

--If you want to use your thoughts productively, try visualizing.   Imagine yourself shaking hands with your clients.  See the signed contract in your in-box.  Hear yourself telling your manager about how the deal came about.  Taste a drink or the meal you'll have to celebrate your success.   In other words, bring the experience of success to life in your imagination until it becomes so real to you, you know it instinctively.  That's when you'll likely see it materialize.

--You can also stop making this about you.  If you reach the goal, what will be true in the world?  You didn't say what you sell, but if it helps your clients be safer, save money, save lives, make the world more beautiful or has any other positive purpose, then forget about the numbers and start thinking about the opportunity you're being given to improve life for others.  

--Finally, realize that life gives us situations that allow us to release our deepest fears, which are often that we are inadequate and unlovable.   If this rings true for you in any way, then maybe it's time to let this go.  And if it's not true, see if you can find whatever underlying fear is holding you back at this time.   There likely is something there, or you would have embraced the larger goal with open arms and reached or surpassed it with ease.  It would have excited you with its potential, not intimidated you.

I wish you renewed success!

Love,
EL

Dear Energy Lady,
It seems as if the world is getting more and more filled with hate.  Every time I turn on the news, someone is getting shot or blown up because of their religion or race or just because someone went nuts with a gun in a public place.   It's getting to the point where I'm afraid to go out of the house. 
Do you have any energetic advice for me?

Signed,
Scared

Dear Scared,
It's easy to see why you might think the world is filled with hate, because pain and suffering make people pay attention, and that sells papers and draws advertisers and blog hits.   Also, getting angry and upset make some people feel more powerful and alive, at least temporarily.  In the end, all hate and anger is exhausting, as it is not our true nature.

Here's a little challenge for you:  every time you hear or see something that feels like hate coming alive, look around you and ask, "Where is the love in this moment?"  You might find it in your own heart, but you are just as likely to see something beautiful, kind or extraordinary in other people or the environment. Sometimes, a door will open for you to perform an act of kindness in that moment, even if it's just giving away a smile and having someone return it (have you ever noticed that it's almost impossible not to smile at someone who's smiling at you?).

The other thing you can do is to lessen the amount of time you spend watching and pursuing the news--at least the front pages and headlines.  Newspapers are also filled with lots of happy news about people who are making a positive difference for themselves and others in business, sports, the arts, science, health and more.   The comics are always good for a laugh, too. 

As for your own personal safety, do what you can to be aware of your surroundings and make smart choices.  But if you find your fears growing too large and limiting your choices, you may want to seek professional counseling to help you unknot them.

This said, you can also increase the protective energy around you by 1) setting the intention to be safe;  2) saying--out loud--"I choose safety" whenever you leave the house; and 3) staying present in the moment and making safe choices.    Remember, however, that it is how you feel, not what you say or intend, that determines your life experience, so if you continue to feel challenged emotionally, you might want to look into tapping, The Sedona Method, The Work (by Byron Katie) or meditation to help you let go of the thoughts which are creating the negative feelings you are experiencing.

In the end, remember this:  there is much more love than hate in the world.  The proof is that throughout time, good always wins out in the end, even if it takes decades or  even centuries.    Also, if there was no darkness in the world, it would be impossible for us to both create and appreciate the light.  Just make sure you notice that on balance, good far outweighs evil, and that there is evidence of that everywhere.

Love,
EL

Monday Blues

Dear Energy Lady,
I hate Mondays.  I mean HATE them.  I just don't want to get up and go to work.  My job's ok; it's just that it feels like I'm being punished for taking the weekend off, because Mondays are always filled with a gazillion emails and problems, and it seems like everyone is on edge. Got any tips?

Signed,
Wish it were Friday

Dear LCH,
How wonder-FULL!  You have a delicious, delightful, clear and unequivocal negative.  Those are rare in this world--most people are willing to be a little bit frustrated, a little unhappy and a little disappointed every day.  But not you.  Nope.  You HATE Mondays.   So let's play with that a bit.

--When you have a nice clear negative like this, be grateful for it.   It definitely points to a desire for the opposite--LOVING Mondays.   So what does that look like for you?  What would have to be true?

--Start by making a list of every single thing you hate about Mondays.  What would your day be like without these?  For instance, if you didn't have a single problem to solve, what would you be doing instead?  (You might actually be bored if you weren't dealing with problems, by the way)

--What would a perfect start to the week look, sound, and feel like?  Have you ever experienced such a beginning--even as a child?  

--What do you love about the other 6 days of the week?  Do none of these things exist on Mondays?

--What word, sound, image or aroma would give you the sense that Monday was going to be a good day?   Try starting this week with that, and see if everything doesn't change for the better.

If you're reading this and still feeling very negative about Mondays, you may not be ready for going at them from a positive standpoint.  So consider staying with the negatives for a while.  Consider:

--You may be someone who has a very sensitive energy field, and you easily pick up on the vibes other people are giving out.  Since, as everyone knows, people do tend to be more stressed on Mondays, it could be that you're more attuned to that than others are.  In other words, you're an energy sponge, picking up the energy sludge around you.  One of the things you can do to reduce the problem is to protect yourself is to imagine a bubble of pink light surrounding you everywhere you go at work.  As you imagine it,  make it impenetrable to everyone except the people or things that are compatible with its softness and smoothness.  That might not cut down on the number of problems or emails, but it's likely that their content, tone or size will change. Try it--this really works!

--Instead of feeling that you shouldn't hate Mondays, consider the relief (comic or otherwise) that you might feel simply by recognizing that you do, and that's just the way it is.  Anything you feel you "should" do/feel/think causes blocks in your energy field, and getting rid of them not only makes you feel better, it elevates the level of your vibrational field and allows better things to come to and through you.    So go ahead.  Hate Mondays.  Sit in a chair for 15 minutes and consciously, deliberately HATE them.  Changes are good that you won't be able to do this for more than about a minute or two, since the avoidance of pain is a primary human motivation.   You may find yourself laughing at the junk that's currently rolling around as your thoughts.  You may realize that you really do need a new job.  Or you may realize that you may be struggling with something medical (like depression) and need to talk to a professional.  Either way, you'll get a sense of what you can do to improve

--In the same vein, you may be thinking that you should love your job and be happy to return to it each week.  It's more likely that unless this is a new job, there are aspects of it you enjoy, and aspects of it you don't.  Take away the energetic barbed wire of feeling that you should be eager to race to the office on Mondays, and the relief you feel at losing the burden of that guilt will likely make it easier to go in to the office.

--Another way to move the energy is simply to isolate what you hate, and what you don't.  If you hate absolutely everything about your job, then obviously, it's time to start looking for another.  But if you only hate certain aspects, then let those only occupy the percentage of your thoughts that they deserve.  Often, that's under 20%.  But as I like to say to my coaching clients, if you hit your thumb with a hammer, the fact that your kidneys are working perfectly at that moment will not concern you. So sometimes, our tendency is to put too much attention on the few things that are bothering us, not the 80% of things that are going just fine, thanks.

--Finally, give yourself a "word of the week."  Set the tone for everything that is going to happen for you energetically during the week, regardless of which day it occurs.  Choose your focus, and you'll start finding evidence of it everywhere.  This is quantum science at its best-whatever we pay attention to expands.  And the more you put your attention on what you want, the more you withdraw it from what you don't, starving the latter of the energy it needs to stay in your field.    In other words, pay more attention to the positive, and you'll likely find there are far fewer negative things to be unhappy about.

Happy New Week!

Love,
EL

Avoiding Temptation

Dear Energy Lady,
I am determined to look good in a swimsuit this summer, so I'm working out and dieting.  The problem is that there seems to be temptation everywhere!   Fresh cookies in the kitchen at work; bags of Big Macs and fries at my brother's house;  a big display of my favorite chips at the grocery store; a big window display of gorgeous chocolates on my walk to the dry cleaners.  It's like the whole world is out to sabotage my success!  What am I supposed to do?

Signed,
Salivating

Dear Salivating,
You are experiencing an energetic phenomenon that you might call "the law of contrast."  When you decided to lose weight, you created an image of yourself as thin.  In order to keep up your energy and enthusiasm to achieve this, you need to have its opposite so you can have the satisfaction of experiencing yourself as what you are NOT any longer. 

Think of it this way: if there were no contrast, you wouldn't know you were fat or thin.  You'd just be, and what's the fun in that?  Contrast is there so you can keep creating.   Without it, you'd soon lose interest, and you also wouldn't feel the joy of stepping on the scale and seeing the numbers go down, or holding your waistband away from your belly as your size shrinks. 

This is the way energy works.  As soon as you make a choice, you bring it--and its opposite--into being.   So when you created an image of yourself and took action to become thin, you simultaneously also created the conditions to keep you fat.  So it's not surprising that you should feel "surrounded" by the foods you love--you created them as much as you created the new, thinner you.

But here's the best part:  you don't need to resist them.  Our bodies don't know the difference between a thought and an actual experience, so if--for instance--you really want a donut and find yourself thinking about it, wishing for it, mentally tasting it--your body has the same physical reaction as it would if you actually ate it.  You release insulin at just the thought of eating sugar, and if there is no actual sugar for it to work on, it does the other thing insulin does:  it stores fat.  So the more you resist the donut, the more you are setting up your body to store fat, which makes it even harder in the future to lose weight.

Does that mean you should eat all the junk food you want?   Only if you want to spend every waking hour burning it off--calories in means that eventually, you need to get calories out.  But you can--and likely should--allow yourself to have a piece of a donut and savor it.  Eat it slowly.  Enjoy every morsel. 

When you don't deny yourself, your energy flows more naturally.  But again, "not denying" does not mean gorging yourself.  It means allowing yourself to be in charge of your thoughts about food. Select the foods you want, enjoy them in reasonable portions, and then use their energy to fuel the activities in your life that truly make you happy.  Let life tempt you, not just something in a window, a bag or on a plate. 

Start thinking of ALL foods as "tempting" for you.  Start looking past some of your old favorites and expand the banquet of what you enjoy to the greater bounty of what is available.  This will likely include lower fat choices as well as the higher ones.  Eat both, according to what makes you feel good about yourself.   Then go spend your calories on activities that make you feel happy and connected to life.

Enjoy!
Love,
EL

Dear Readers,
I have taken a break from writing this blog because I have been busy developing Fullistic programs that I can share on the net and in person.  So I hope to meet you eventually at one of them!

In the meantime, let me tell you about Basil (name changed), who called and asked about selling his house.  It had been on the market for over a year, and he and his wife had already purchased another house in a new city where they had moved for his job.  They really didn't want to rent out the house; they were tired of the cost and responsibility of maintaining it, and wanted to concentrate on their new home and location.

Basil gave me all the the reasons why his house hadn't sold.  The market was depressed in their area.  It was priced too high.  It faced a busy street.  It "only" had three bedrooms.  The more he talked, the clearer it became that the house and the sale was blocked by the negative energy of his doubts and frustration.

I asked him if he'd like to try a Fullistic approach, and he was willing to try anything.   The first thing was to let go of the house.   Before it could become someone else's house, it had to stop being "his" or "their" house.  It just had to be "a" house.  And not just any house; a house that was ready and eager for someone new to love it.  By breaking the energetic hold he had on the property, it also freed up the energy to glow and become more attractive to a new buyer.

Then I asked him if the house wanted to speak, "introducing" itself to its new owners.  What did it want to say?  He started enumerating all of its lovely attributes, which made it obvious that it would be perfect for someone working at or attending a nearby university, or as an investment for someone who wanted to rent it out, as there were several new industries in the area, and it had close proximity to both public transportation and the highway.

He spoke of the house in the first person, as if he was the house.  In the world of Fullistics, everything is part of the One, so this is actually a natural way to embrace what is.

Once the house introduced itself through him, I asked if he'd like to create a Facebook page so the house could get liked by others.   He lit up at the thought, and said he would try it.

Then came the final piece:  making peace with the idea that all was well.  Once he did this, he could relax and focus on his new location, fully knowing--not believing or hoping--that the old property was now energetically magnetic to its new owners, and that as long as he didn't throw an energetic wrench in the works, the house was as good as sold at the asking price, since its true value could now shine through.

If you have been stuck or frustrated in any area, try the steps outlined above:
1) Use what you don't want to identify what you do.  Get clear on the positive.  Let go of the negative, but don't worry if it's still in your thoughts.  Just leave it alone and let it be there.
2) Ramp up the positive by giving it a voice.  Let it speak to the universe through you.  Life loves beauty.
3) Think of a way of anchoring your creation in the world.  Social media is only one way; there are many others
4) Then smile and relax.  That expands your own energy field so that more things become possible.

In any case, Basil now has potential buyers looking at his house; if he lets me know, I'll share the results with you here.

Love,
EL

Bikini body

Dear Energy Lady,
Is there a way to use energy to lose weight fast?   I want to have a bikini body by July 4.

Signed,
In a Hurry

Dear Hurried,
Yes, there are some things you can do energetically to lighten up in a short period of time.   Because this is an important topic, I'll cover some of it here, and then address it again in future blogs.

The first thing is to remember that your body does not know the difference between something you're merely thinking about and an actual experience.  So if you imagine eating a warm, fudgy brownie, you will start to salivate and you will release insulin, even if there is no brownie available.   And here's the problem:  in the absence of sugar, insulin stores fat.  So the more you think about and resist that chocolate brownie, the harder it will be to lose weight because you're actually storing more fat just by thinking about it.   So it's really true when people say,  "I gain weight just thinking about food."

So try this:  Instead of resisting the foods you want, eat them in small amounts, but really stop and savor every bite.  Let the food fully satisfy you.  Take in its aroma, its flavor.  Really, truly let each little bite sink in.  In other words, use your energy to fully enjoy its energy.  You'll probably find that it doesn't take much to make you happy, and then you stop thinking about it entirely.  This allows your metabolism to do its wonderful work, and the impact of the so-called "bad" food is transformed.
(This doesn't mean, though, that you can just eat a bunch of junk food and expect to lose weight.  But you should discover that if you stop eating mentally and start eating and enjoying for real, you eat less and get more energy and pleasure from what you're eating, which makes the energy exchange between you and the food work better.)

Along with this, examine your self-talk about food so you can see what you're creating with your thoughts, feelings and words.  In my "Fullistic Weight Loss" workshops, I've had people say things like, "I gain weight the second I go off my diet"  or "Weekends always make me fat"  or "I can never lose weight."  It's not surprising that their experiences mirror these beliefs.  

So change your self-talk, and practice it often throughout the day.  Try things like, "I enjoy food that empowers me and my life"  or "I feel great after I eat"  or "I have plenty of energy to use for whatever I want"  or "I am satisfied with my choices at the table and everywhere else."

Finally, remember that people HATE to diet.   We are not designed to be losers, and evolutionarily, we are designed to hold on to resources that keep us alive.   So stop focusing on food and start focusing on gaining happiness in your life.  Because here's the surprise:  the more happiness you gain in life, the more weight you'll lose. 

More on this later this week.

Love,
EL

Why try?

Dear Energy Lady,
I have a good question for you: why doesn't all this energy stuff work?  I know how to do it all:  I make vision boards, set positive intentions, make goals (and celebrate both short-term and long-term stuff), surround myself with good people, etc.   But no matter how much I try, I still find myself coming up short. 

What's the secret?

Signed,
Super-frustrated

Dear Frustrated,
It's interesting that you should ask about the secret, because there's a very famous book of the same name that helped millions of people understand more about energy.  And it also made it sound super-easy to get everything you want, as if the universe is some kind of gumball machine and if you just pop in a coin, you'll get the thing you asked for. 

If it were that simple, there would be no debilitating diseases, no poverty, no crime or anything else any of us consider "bad."   But consider if that were true.  If there were no diseases, there would be no need for doctors, nurses, hospitals, medicine...in other words, millions of people would be out of work or be unable to know themselves as healers, care-givers or even patients who heal.  We would lack the contrast to value good health over poor health.

 If there were no poverty, many people would not be able to understand the triumph of pulling themselves out of it, or be able to experience themselves as the helpers who comfort and assist those who suffer from it.  Foundations would have nothing to give their money to.  If there were no crime, the criminals who use it for their identity (which, by the way, we often celebrate in tv series like "Breaking Bad" or movies like "The Godfather" or "Goodfellas) would not provide us with the contrast we need to know right from wrong.   And while many of us feel that suicide bombing is "bad," there are societies in which it is considered "good." 

The point is that what is "good" or "bad" is a matter of perspective, depending on many factors.   So if you're trying to do energy work to get more "good" stuff, The Secret and other books don't mention the downside of doing so:  by focusing only on one side of the equation, you automatically bring in the possibility of its shadow side, the thing you don't want.    So in saying "I want more of this" you're also--wordlessly--saying, "I don't want any of that." 

This creates an energy tug-of-war that can keep you stuck, which is what you're experiencing.   You're also setting up a state of wanting, as in "I don't have this, and I really want it."  But guess what?  The more you want something, the more you create the energetic conditions to keep on wanting it.   In other words, you're creating more, not less, separation.

So I can guess your next question:  "how do I get rid of the negative?"

The answer is simple:  you can't.    Polarities exist in the physical world to give us a reason to continually recreate ourselves and the world around us.   Without them, life would become stagnant and dull.  Think of the movie, "Pleasantville," if you want to see what I mean. 

Energy play is just that: a game.  But not one where there are "winners" or "losers."  We are all playing, and everyone's a winner; we're always getting a match to how we ARE, not what we WANT.

So if you want more of what you personally consider positive stuff to enter your life, try this:

Stop trying.

Really.  Just give it up for a while.  Relax and smile at yourself, at your life and everything in it.  Stop labeling everything, everybody and everything that happens to you.   Just let it go, and let things be.

The more you do this, the more you'll likely encounter surprises that don't just please you--they'll delight you.  It's amazing what is here for us when we stop trying to control everything, which is limited by our puny imaginations. 

This is not promising you nirvana.  Undoubtedly, you will continue to have things happen in your life that wouldn't be what you'd choose for yourself.  But the difference will be that you will be more relaxed about it, and more trusting and comfortable that, as I always like to say, "everything works out all right in the end, and if it's not all right, it's not the end."

Finally, you can't experience the vibrations of love, joy, freedom and peace if you're vibrating at frustration, grief, shame or anger.  So give up the latter, and you'll automatically put yourself in a place where you're more likely to experience the former without doing anything.

Love,
EL

Spring cleaning

Dear Energy Lady,
I have a ton of stuff in my house, and it's kind of a mess.  Is that bad karma?
Signed,
Buried

Dear Buried,
First, there's nothing karmic about a bunch of stuff.  You chose your stuff; it's not your destiny.

This said, it's likely blocking the arrival of wonderful things that could be waiting for you.  Every item in your house is made of energy, and has its own energy field.  So if you have things piled up, neglected, and tossed here and there, think of it like rocks in a river-the flow has to go around them.  And if it's everywhere, then the river is completely dammed up, and whatever is downstream-like you-gets starved of the flow.

Now, if you truly love all these things and they have value to you, then you may want to hire a Feng Shui expert and have him/her help you sort things out and arrange them in ways that enhance their beauty and the energy flow of your home.

But if what you're talking about are piles of laundry, unwashed dishes and old junk that has long outlived its usefulness, then you might want to get an organizer to help you sort through it.  That's just dead energy that you no longer need.  The fact that you're calling yourself "buried" says a lot.  It sounds like you could use some breathing room.

Often, when people clean things up, other areas of their lives open up, too.  It's not unusual to hear about long-delayed job offers coming through, hearing from people you haven't heard from in ages, or suddenly having a rush of inspiration.  Once the energetic density clears, waves of possibility appear.

 If you don't want to hire others to help you, ask some fiends or family members to join in.  Give them what you no longer need-they'll enjoy the treasure hunt, and you'll get the benefit of a fun    afternoon or weekend with people you enjoy.

So get some boxes and get glowing!  And if you're in the Northern Hemisphere, happy spring!

Love,
EL

The three words that will change your life

Dear Readers,
People often ask me, "What is the fastest, simplest way to raise my energy?"  So here are the three words that will change your vibration for the better:

1) "And."  Use it in place of "but," and watch what happens.  For example, if someone says to you, "How is your family?"  and you answer, "They're great, but my son's not sure he's going to get into the college of his choice"--the "but" automatically stops the energy flow of "they're great."  

So try changing it like this:  "They're great, and my son is waiting to hear from one of his preferred colleges."   Can you FEEL the difference?

Here's another example:
"What are you doing for Easter?"
"We're getting the whole family together, but our daughter can't join us."

Versus:
"We're getting the whole family together, and our daughter will Skype with us so she can see everyone."

Replace "But" with "and."  Your energy will love you for it.

2) "Yes."  Start saying yes to the things and people you like and want in your life.  First, do it in your mind, and then watch what manifests in your life.  By saying "yes" to what you want, you'll find that you'll spend less time resisting what you don't want because your energy will be flowing in the direction that feels right and comfortable to you.   Try saying "yes" at least 10 times today--just make sure it's for what you want, not to please other people.

3) "Thanks."  This one is obvious, and I know you know this.  But it's amazing how few of us make "thanks" a regular part of both our thinking and our vocabulary.   "Thanks" is not just an acknowledgement of another person; it's also an expression of gratitude to yourself, as we play a part in everything that appears in our lives.  So it is, in fact, a way of blessing your own creations.  What about the things you feel you didn't create and don't want--like sickness, divorce, natural disasters, etc?   This is where you find your reasons to be thankful for the love that will undoubtedly come flowing your way from friends, family and strangers.   There is always a reason to say "thanks," even in the worst of circumstances.

Try "And" "Yes" and "Thanks" for the next 24 hours, and see how much brighter and better you feel!  And from that higher vibrational place, you will bring more radiance into your own life and the lives of others.

Love,
EL

Where is the love?

Dear Readers,
If you want to get your energy glowing, try this fun little game.  It's called "Where is the love?"

You can play it anytime, anywhere.  You can play it at work; when you're out shopping; even when you're vegging out in front of the TV.   You can play it even when you're not in the mood, or with grouchy people.   The purpose of the game is twofold:  1) to show you that live actually is all around us, all the time and 2) to show you that the connection between your own essence and the experiences you have.

To play, all you have to do is close your eyes for a brief second as you ask the question, "where is love right now?"   Let your attention drop into your heart space as you do this-it's important that you play from somewhere other than your usual negative thought stream.

Then open your eyes.  Look around you-it is likely you'll see smiles, kindness, respect or caring in some form.  If you don't, then close your eyes again for another brief second and listen-fist with your ears, but also with your heart.  Again, you are likely to hear or sense something that sounds like connection or caring.

And here's the big surprise: if you don't see, hear or sense anything, go back into your heart and feel it open into the environment around you.  Remember: nothing in life is solid -it's just a dream of energy in motion that you're animating.  So let the love you have and the love you ARE flow into the environment around you.  As you do, think or say, "let there be love."

Ta Da!  Whatever love you were looking for was inside you, so it has to be wherever you are, all the time, always and forever.  And chances are once you let it out, you'll start to see more of it everywhere you go.

Love,
EL

Time to relax

Dear Readers,
I took a break from writing this blog to work on other areas of Fullistics, including a new website: www.fullistic.com.  There you'll find more information about Fullistics, a list of great books and reference resources, information about Fullistic programs and keynotes, and links to some Fullistic events coming up.  If you're looking to add more energy and fun to your life, check it out!

For today, though, let me answer a couple of questions that have been in the queue since I've been gone.

 Dear Energy Lady,
I have a coworker who's really toxic.  Any way I can protect myself?

Signed,
Bruised

Dear Bruised,
For this question, I'm going to refer to The Course in Miracles, which points out that "nothing real can be threatened, and nothing unreal exists."  So instead of taking this person seriously, think of him or her as a character in a dream- not real.  Just an energy field that has come into yours to teach you something about yourself.

What are you supposed to learn?  That the behavior you see is a reflection of something you fear may be true about yourself.  Even if you don't demonstrate it, you recognize it, and that's enough to bond you with it.

So ask yourself : can I forgive this, accept it or transform it?  Try to release both this person and the behavior, and you will release yourself.

You know you have succeeded when you feel peaceful.  You don 't need a new job or new colleagues;  shift your thinking, and see if the picture doesn't shift, too.

Love,
EL

How to be more creative

Dear Energy Lady,
I feel like I'm in a big rut-is there an energy way to get some creativity going?
Signed,
Bored

Dear Bored,
It's easy to get in a rut.  We think about 50,000 thoughts a day, and more than 90% are a rehash of what we thought yesterday.  When we think the same thoughts repeatedly, the neurons that transmit them actually wire together in our brains.  That's part of what creates the rut.

You either have to make an effort to think a new, positive thought, or try a new approach.  Trying to access your creativity through your memories or experiences will just give you variations of what you've already experienced, which won't feel very creative.

So if you'd like to have a little fun, access your mental body, which is in a finer vibrational state than your physical one.  Fresh ideas come to us through our mental body-things that are in the energy field around us, or what some people call our higher mind.

To access this, you need to stop thinking, at least for a little while.  Some people do this through meditation.  Others do it by running, sewing or another hobby that distracts them for a while.  You can also do this by just going and having fun.  Relax.  Laugh!  Just let your thoughts go.

How does not thinking relate to creativity?  Because when you're in a more open state, answers to your problems can"pop in" to your consciousness.  Intuitive "hits" happen naturally.  You have "ah ha!" moments.

When you get these, if they feel right to you, then act on them.  If you do, you'll start living a life that's not just creative, it's co-creative with the universe.  There's unlimited potential in that.

Enjoy!
Live,
EL

Your luck is right in front of you

Dear Energy Lady,
How come some people have all the luck?  I'm tired of watching everyone else win the lottery, get the guy or land the job.
Signed,
Luckless

Dear Luckness,
It's not luck.  It's attention.

There is no difference between so- called "lucky" people and you.  We are all energy, and we are all connected to the same source and field of potential.  No one has access to anything you don't.

But there is probably one thing that the "lucky" people are doing that you're not.  They pay attention. Often, what we're looking for is right in front of us, and we don't see it because we're either in our heads or expecting it to come in another form.

So my guess is that it's your thoughts that are getting in your way.  But I'm not going to advise you to be more mindful, because it sounds like you're feeling low, and what you're likely to see will match that state of vibration, which won't please you.

Instead, let's approach this playfully.  Start by putting a smile on your face.  Then stand up, put your feet about hip's-width apart, and put your hands on your hips, like Wonder Woman.  Keep that stance, and your happy grin, for about a minute.   Have fun with it-it feels great!

Then as you go about your day, say ( out loud) "Whoooo hooooo!" Every time you walk into a room or find yourself in someplace new.   Then just relax and let yourself enjoy whoever and whatever's there.  Ignore the things that annoy you-focus on any person or element of the situation that feels good.

What you'll discover by doing this is that life has been providing you with all kinds of things and people that are right for you- you just didn't notice them.  So once you get into the idea that what you want is right here, right now, you'll see that life is not a matter of "luck," but love.  It's here for you in both visible and invisible forms.  Expect the best, look for it, and accept it.

Enjoy!
Love,
EL

Energizing weight loss for the new year

Dear Energy Lady,
I am determined to lose weight this year, and want to do everything I can to make it happen.   What can help energize it, besides diet and exercise?

Signed,
Feeling Ready

Dear Ready,
You've already cleared a major hurdle energetically: you know what you want.  Most people don't.  We spend our days being a little uncertain, a little frustrated and a little disappointed, and all that does is keep us treading water.  The universe can't respond to a weak signal.

But here's the trick: you don't want to lose weight.  People don't like losing, and if you don't like something, you'll resist it, slowing the energy and making it even harder to do.

Instead, think of yourself as gaining a whole new level of health and happiness.   So first, can you go beyond where you are now and the effort you'll be making to visualize the end result?  In other words, don't create a gap between where you are now and where you want to be; take yourself into the future right now, as there is no time in the universal field.  The future happens in the present moment.

Once you create a mental picture of the final outcome, allow yourself to simply feel good.  Actually, make that feel GREAT.  Feel great not because you reached a goal, because there was a "there" and how you're "here," but simply because you are living free of the trapped energy that extra weight represents.  In other words, if the weight is literally and figuratively off your shoulders (and everywhere else on your body and your life), how do you feel?   Don't focus on what you're now able to do: focus on how you ARE.

Now, once you feel great, expand it.  Release the feeling--let it grow out and out and out until you can no longer tell where you leave off and it begins.  Keep letting it expand until it goes beyond your house...your town...your state...your country...and even beyond the planet and the solar system.  Just keep letting it go.

You may feel a sense of peace or bliss, or not.  But in any case, what you're doing is releasing any limitations imposed by your own mind or experience and opening to all possibilities.  You're also spreading your light so that anything or anyone that can help you can find you.  So don't be surprised if you suddenly find yourself having happy coincidences that make the arrival of your new state of being easier and easier.

So eat well.  Exercise.  Work with your doctor or other professionals if you need to.  But most of all, relax and get happy.  And then set that happiness free, because if you do, it will come back to you in wonder-FULL ways that will make your goal-getting even easier.

Enjoy!

Love,
EL

5 Ways to Raise Your Vibration at Work

Dear Energy Lady,
I try really hard to have a good attitude at work, but by mid-day, I find that I start to complain and focus on the negative.  I know this is really bad for me vibrationally, and that it just makes things worse, but I don't know what to do about it.   Any suggestions would be welcome.

Signed,
Slumped

Dear Slumped,
It's easy to get caught up in the negativity of work; remember when we talked about egregors--the collective thought forms that can create a dense vibrational field in an organization?  But there are a few things you can do to stay in the flow, including:

--Catch yourself complaining, and then stop doing it.  You don't have to be sunny and positive; just stop being negative.  You'll feel immediate relief.

--Try "The Course in Miracles" approach of looking at something that's bothering you and saying, "I could see peace instead of this."

--Go to www.TED.com and look up Shawn Achor.  In the funniest 12 minutes you'll spend today, he'll show you 5 things you can do to feel happy at work.  And if nothing else, the fact that you're laughing as you watch it will raise your vibration

--Speaking of TED talks, since you said your slump is mid-day, consider watching one as you eat your lunch (if you eat at your desk).  Most are 18-20 minutes, and there are thousands of choices that will inspire, uplift or entertain you.  It's a great way to shift your perspective and lighten up.

--Take a walk--preferably outside, and preferably in nature if there is a park nearby.

--Meditate for 15 minutes if that is possible, or simply close your eyes and breathe for 2 or 3 minutes

--Find a reason to smile.  Doing so immediately brightens your radiance.

--Go spend a few minutes with someone you enjoy.  No complaining--just laughing!

Before you do anything of these things, set an intention of how you would like to feel, and then let it go. You'll likely find that this sequence--intention; letting go; action--will help you feel lighter, brighter, more alert and ready to flow into the afternoon.

Love,
EL

A new beginning

Dear Energy Lady,
As the end of the year approaches, I'm starting to think about the new year.  I really want to make a fresh start in a couple of areas in my life.  How do I avoid dragging the energy of my mistakes and regrets with me so I can have the best possible results?

Signed,
Ready and Willing

Dear Ready,
First, let me salute you for recognizing that change works best from the inside out, not the outside in.  Most people think that if they just change their circumstances, everything will be better.  But what happens is that they just get more of what they had; just in a different place and with different people.  In fact, much of the time, things get worse, because whatever they didn't change in the old place intensifies in the new after having been repressed, where the energy just grows stronger and more powerful.

There are many wonderful methods for clearing stuck energy.  The Sedona Method (www.sedonamethod.com) is one of my personal favorites, as is the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)--check out Nick Ortner's books and website.  Byron Katie's "The Work"  (www.thework.com) is also terrific, and you can work with a facilitator seeking certification at no charge.   Another wonderful resource is Carolyn Myss's "Sacred Contracts," which will give you a better idea of why you're facing the challenges you are by looking at the Archtypes you're trying to resolve in this lifetime.

Other ways to clear stuck energy include prayer, meditation and forgiveness work.  Counseling can also help.   Or you can simply get quiet and listen as, one by one, the old beliefs will undoubtedly come up in your head.  If you can just sit with them without judgement, you may find that they may dissipate.

The next step is in looking at why you want a "fresh start."  If you're trying to escape anything, it will follow you energetically. But if you've done the clearing and are truly ready to move on to something new, then the idea would be to ramp up your vibrational field as high as you possibly can so you can create and attract the best possible circumstances.

And the highest possible vibration is peace, which is a higher frequency than either joy or love.  And fortunately, we're in the season of peace, and, if you're in the Northern Hemisphere, we are in winter, a good time for slowing down and stillness.

So what you want to do is seek peace in all areas of your life.  First, you have to know what peace feels like, so sit down, close your eyes, and try to remember a time when you were truly, deeply peaceful.  Feel it as fully as you possibly can, and see where it resonates for you in your body (for many, it's either the stomach or the heart area, but you may find otherwise).  Know what it feels like so you will know when you have it, and when you don't.

Then remember that your body is an accurate barometer of how you're vibrating.  And your vibration is created by your thoughts.  Every thought triggers an emotion, which triggers a vibrational response.  So what you want is to keep your vibration at peace as much as possible.  Doing so will keep you unblocked, which will allow the best possible circumstances to reach you.  It will also keep you aligned with your ideals, including your desire for a fresh start.

Fortunately, there is peace everywhere in this season.  Feel the peace of sacred holiday music.  If you're in the Northern Hemisphere, feel the silence in a soft snowfall when the world temporarily comes to a standstill.  Read books that make you feel peaceful--Daniel Ladinsky's works on Hafiz are wonderful, as are Eckhart Tolle's and Thich Nhat Hanh's.  

If you're dealing with problems at work, remember the line in the Course in Miracles,  "I could see peace instead of this."  Then do it.  Shift your perspective, and you'll feel your vibration shift with it.

Stay in the moment as much as you can.   Wherever you are is the right place to be.

Wish for peace and happiness for yourself and others in the new year.  Say it out loud; doing so creates it on the quantum plane.

And remember to smile.  That alone raises your vibration substantially.

Enjoy!  And please write again and let me know how you're doing.

Love,
EL

Thanks for Giving the Universe its Energy

Dear Energy Lady,
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the U.S., and I've been reading all kinds of things about why you should or shouldn't eat turkey, how to cope with your relatives, and when to start shopping.  It seems like what used to be a simple, fun holiday is now complicated with a lot of political and social decisions.  What does all this do to my energy?

Signed,
Feast or Famine?

Dear FF,
It is interesting to see what has happened to Thanksgiving.  As you say, there are those who argue that the traditional dinner is no longer a feast, but an exercise in gluttony; or that it is necessary to avoid turkey to be sustainably correct.   Still others insist that it is a day for finding bargains, while others declare that shopping should be avoided at all costs so you can focus on family.

Energetically, these are simply points of focus.   They mean nothing in and of themselves.  What does impact your energy, though, is how you feel about them.  If a particular point of view annoys or upsets you, it adds density and static to your energy field.  And if it generates a lot of negative thought, then you will also experience the corresponding negative emotion.  Those emotions are creative, and will likely cause you to experience connections to events and people that will not be to your liking.

So if that's not your intention or desire, then don't take the bait.  Let the arguments swirl about you without getting attached to them.  Instead, set your intention that Thanksgiving will be joyful for you.  Then simply smile and breathe, and either enjoy or be amused at everything that happens.

Regardless of your choice of attitude or action for the day, don't get too seriously about it.  Just lighten up, relax and be open to whatever gifts the day holds.

Remember this:  When you give thanks for everything that happens, you create a blessing, and you give the universe positive energy.  Eventually, that will come back to you in one way or another.

So Happy Thanksgiving!  I hope the holiday is rich with life and love for you.

Love,
EL

Hard-wired for pain?

Hi Energy Lady,
I have a question:  is it possible to be hard-wired for pain?  I really, really, really try to be positive, but no matter what I do, it seems like I flip right back into painful, negative thinking that makes me feel awful and results in experiences I don't want.  I'll take any suggestions you have.

Signed,
Would like to be pain-free

Dear Free,
Actually, it is possible to be hard-wired for pain.  The science of neural plasticity talks about the fact that neurons that fire together, wire together.  What that means is that once you've had a trauma of any kind and you keep replaying it over and over in your mind, neurons connect and "wire" together.  So as you say, you can try to be positive, but that's like putting frosting on a brick.  The first lick might taste good, but when you bite into it...ouch!

So what can you do?  It's possible to have an enlightenment experience similar to what happened to Eckhart Tolle; one day, deep in depressive thought, he said, "I can't live with myself any more."  What happened next surprised him; he fell into a deeply meditative state, and when he came out of it, he could see the radiant energy fields of everything and everyone around him.  Very nice, but not an experience you can willingly duplicate.

Rather than try to unwire the pain, try rewiring some new experiences that feel good.  This is not positive thinking, which has a heavy downside, as each "high" state contains its polar opposite for balance.  Instead, think of a pleasantly happy, peaceful state.  Something you might call relaxed or "chill."

The way to start this is simply to affirm, "I choose happiness."  Then just relax, smile and breathe.  Don't try to define happiness--that will likely start bringing up all kinds of thoughts and reasons why you can't have it.  Just stay generally in the "happiness" realm for a while.  Hum or sing.  Keep smiling.  No need to build yourself up; just be with a not-negative state of mind and being.

The other thing you can do is when the painful, negative thinking comes up, pretend it's a character on a TV show you're watching.  That will separate it from you, and make it a little cartoonish--kind of like watching "reality" TV.  As long as it is separate from you, its vibrations aren't as hurtful.

This said, and you know that I'm not a medical professional of any kind and make no medical claims for any of what is said in this blog; if you think you might need medical help, seek it.  There are wonderful doctors and counselors in the world who are dedicated to helping people with conditions similar to yours.  There is qualified medical help, and it's widely available, even if your funds are limited or non-existent.  

Know this: there is great love in multiple dimensions for you.  Embrace it.

Love,
EL

I want more respect!

Dear Energy Lady,
I hate the way I'm treated at work.  No one respects me.  My boss won't give me any opportunity to advance, and I get cut out of key meetings.  At this rate, I'll never get a raise or get what I want in life.  What should I do?

Signed,
Overlooked

Dear Overlooked,
I could tell you that your boss is a jerk or that life's unfair, but from an energy perspective, that's not what's happening here.

You asked the question, "What should I do?"  In energy work, it's not what you do, it's what you are.  So the correct question is, "How can I BE to get the respect I want?"

First, you need to define what you mean by respect.  If you're trying to control other peoples' behavior, that's force, not energetic power, and it will backfire on you.  Trying to force anything basically says to the universe that your energy is NOT a match to it, which is why you have to manipulate it verbally or physically.  Even if it works in the short run (you get people to say "good morning!" to you, for example), in the long run, it's exhausting for you to keep up, and the response you're looking for disappears.

But if what you mean by respect is a feeling of peace, safety, trust and belonging, then start questioning your thoughts and beliefs.  For instance, if you get don't get invited to a meeting, stop interpreting what that means and just take it at face value.   Everything has the meaning we give it, so if the meaning you're giving it is making you unhappy and lowering your vibration, stop it.  Either don't give it any meaning at all, or give it an alternative  meaning, like, "they're meeting so they can plan how to include me in the next big project."  (But if you don't believe the latter, don't try to "think positive," as it will only backfire energetically.)

In other words, start respecting yourself by refusing to harbor and intensify hurtful thoughts about yourself.   And if you want an opportunity to advance, stop waiting for someone else to give it to you.  If it doesn't exist at your present company, just say to the Universe, "I'm ready to work in a place where I bring tremendous value and I'm respected for my contribution to the success of the organization."  Then keep your eyes and ears--and higher self--open to signals of where you might go or what else you might do.

In other words, no one is responsible for your low vibrations but you.  And if thinking of work just makes you more miserable, spend more time taking care of yourself in other ways.  If you want to feel good, start by doing things and thinking thoughts that make you feel good.  That alone may be enough to start changing your circumstances for the better.

And one more thing.  If you want to get respect, you have to give it.  So make sure that in your quest to be seen, you also see the needs and hopes of others.  Respect those, contribute to those, and you might be surprised by the progress you make.

Good luck!

Love,
EL

Inspiring Others

Dear Energy Lady,
Something interesting happened at work today.   They announced a sales contest, and I sometimes win these.  And I like to win; it certainly beats losing.  But as they talked about the details, I couldn't get excited, and I don't know why.  They gave us a clear picture of what we needed to do, and the rewards are terrific.  What happened to my energy?  How do I get it back?

Signed,
Flat-lined

Dear Flat,
You just discovered something important about energy: it doesn't come from outside you.  You could say that it's in you, or that it is you.   What's outside us gives us the contrast we need to create an identity we can use to navigate physical life.

In your case, maybe you think of yourself as a salesperson, and this has come along to let you ask yourself if that's still true.  Or maybe you're a different kind of salesperson than you once were.  Or it could be that you're simply no longer motivated by money or prizes.  As Grace Farrell says to Daddy Warbucks in the movie "Annie"--"Do you really only love money?  You know it's never going to love you back."   So perhaps you've discovered that winning is fleeting, and you want something more.

Or maybe not.   Consider how the message was delivered.   Was your boss upbeat and excited, or was he/she concerned that things are not going well, and that the contest has a certain level of scarcity and concern attached to it?  It could be that the "normal," you, the one who really loves sales contests and winning, picked up on the "static" of the concern, and it just didn't resonate with you.  So maybe it's just the message, or the way the message was delivered, and not you.

Here's the thing:  energetically, what resonates with us is whatever allows energy to move through us, use us productively or lovingly, or live as us in our most authentic state.  And that's usually something that's tied to being loved, valued or respected.  So if your boss only presented what the contest was and how you could go about winning it, but forgot the "why"--the inspiring reason why everyone should get involved and excited--it's not likely that you'd get engaged without you supplying that reason for yourself.

If that's true, then ask yourself, "What's my 'why?' for this?  What feels right and good and true about this?  How will it impact others if I win?"

Then close your eyes.  If you can feel the result and resonate with it without doubt or concern, then it will likely be easier to get excited.  But if you find that you still can't connect to it, then ask yourself, "what is it I truly want...and why?"

I'll write more about this in coming weeks.

Love to you,
EL