Why try?

Dear Energy Lady,
I have a good question for you: why doesn't all this energy stuff work?  I know how to do it all:  I make vision boards, set positive intentions, make goals (and celebrate both short-term and long-term stuff), surround myself with good people, etc.   But no matter how much I try, I still find myself coming up short. 

What's the secret?

Signed,
Super-frustrated

Dear Frustrated,
It's interesting that you should ask about the secret, because there's a very famous book of the same name that helped millions of people understand more about energy.  And it also made it sound super-easy to get everything you want, as if the universe is some kind of gumball machine and if you just pop in a coin, you'll get the thing you asked for. 

If it were that simple, there would be no debilitating diseases, no poverty, no crime or anything else any of us consider "bad."   But consider if that were true.  If there were no diseases, there would be no need for doctors, nurses, hospitals, medicine...in other words, millions of people would be out of work or be unable to know themselves as healers, care-givers or even patients who heal.  We would lack the contrast to value good health over poor health.

 If there were no poverty, many people would not be able to understand the triumph of pulling themselves out of it, or be able to experience themselves as the helpers who comfort and assist those who suffer from it.  Foundations would have nothing to give their money to.  If there were no crime, the criminals who use it for their identity (which, by the way, we often celebrate in tv series like "Breaking Bad" or movies like "The Godfather" or "Goodfellas) would not provide us with the contrast we need to know right from wrong.   And while many of us feel that suicide bombing is "bad," there are societies in which it is considered "good." 

The point is that what is "good" or "bad" is a matter of perspective, depending on many factors.   So if you're trying to do energy work to get more "good" stuff, The Secret and other books don't mention the downside of doing so:  by focusing only on one side of the equation, you automatically bring in the possibility of its shadow side, the thing you don't want.    So in saying "I want more of this" you're also--wordlessly--saying, "I don't want any of that." 

This creates an energy tug-of-war that can keep you stuck, which is what you're experiencing.   You're also setting up a state of wanting, as in "I don't have this, and I really want it."  But guess what?  The more you want something, the more you create the energetic conditions to keep on wanting it.   In other words, you're creating more, not less, separation.

So I can guess your next question:  "how do I get rid of the negative?"

The answer is simple:  you can't.    Polarities exist in the physical world to give us a reason to continually recreate ourselves and the world around us.   Without them, life would become stagnant and dull.  Think of the movie, "Pleasantville," if you want to see what I mean. 

Energy play is just that: a game.  But not one where there are "winners" or "losers."  We are all playing, and everyone's a winner; we're always getting a match to how we ARE, not what we WANT.

So if you want more of what you personally consider positive stuff to enter your life, try this:

Stop trying.

Really.  Just give it up for a while.  Relax and smile at yourself, at your life and everything in it.  Stop labeling everything, everybody and everything that happens to you.   Just let it go, and let things be.

The more you do this, the more you'll likely encounter surprises that don't just please you--they'll delight you.  It's amazing what is here for us when we stop trying to control everything, which is limited by our puny imaginations. 

This is not promising you nirvana.  Undoubtedly, you will continue to have things happen in your life that wouldn't be what you'd choose for yourself.  But the difference will be that you will be more relaxed about it, and more trusting and comfortable that, as I always like to say, "everything works out all right in the end, and if it's not all right, it's not the end."

Finally, you can't experience the vibrations of love, joy, freedom and peace if you're vibrating at frustration, grief, shame or anger.  So give up the latter, and you'll automatically put yourself in a place where you're more likely to experience the former without doing anything.

Love,
EL