Dear Energy Lady,
I have a problem. I get jealous really easily. My girlfriend is great, but even if she doesn't look at another guy, if one looks at her, I'm ready to punch him. I really, really love her, and don't know what to do to keep her.
Signed,
Jealous
Dear Jealous,
Jealousy is an interesting emotion energetically. Vibrationally, on Dr. Hawkins' scale, it comes in at about 100 on a scale of 0-1000, so it's very low. It is on the same level as fear and anxiety. Some say it resonates even lower--down at a mere 20--which is where misery, shame and humiliation reside.
Love, on the other hand, resonates at 500. So you can see that on a vibrational scale, jealousy has nothing to do with love, and feeling jealousy is not helping you love your girlfriend more, nor will it make her love you more.
Some say that fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. And you can't be in fear and in love at the same time. And you get to choose--fear or love. If you choose fear, then you're deliberately deciding to feel tense and angry. That's right--you're choosing it and holding on to it. Maybe the energy makes you feel more powerful or passionate. But as you've probably seen, girls don't stay with guys who try to control them or their lives. Real power isn't force. Real power is magnetic, and because it vibrates high, people are naturally attracted to it.
So the next time you feel yourself getting jealous, say to yourself, "I have a choice. I can choose fear or love. It's up to me." Then try sitting back, put your arms behind your head with your elbows out, and relax. This is a high-power body position that will help boost your self confidence. Stay that way for two minutes if you can, and you will feel more comfortable in your own skin. In other words, your brain will believe your body that you're relaxed, and it will calm down. While you're doing it, pay attention to what's actually happening, not the make-believe world of your own thoughts. Chances are good that you'll see that all is well.
It's up to you. Choose love, not fear. Relax your body, and it will send signals to your brain that will make you feel better fast. Try not doing or saying anything else in the two minutes it takes to do this.
Ultimately, I can't guarantee that this will help you keep your girlfriend (she didn't write to me; you did), but it will make you feel a lot better about her, any situation you're in, and yourself. And with your vibration up higher, the relationship has a better chance to survive and thrive. And if it does break up, you'll be in a better vibrational place for your next relationship.
Love,
EL
Welcome to Dear Energy Lady.com, an advice column for those who want life to be easier and more fun. Based on Energetic principles, the Energy Lady is here to teach you about aligning what you think, say and do with higher vibrational resources like intuition, energy bodies, and clairaudience, as well as release energy barriers to better health, happiness and success.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Healing a relationship with energy
Dear Energy Lady,
My boyfriend and I are really struggling. I think we both want to make this work, but we fight all the time and then end up not speaking at all. We've been to counseling and it's helping some--but sometimes it's hard to listen. Any thoughts?
Signed,
Want to be in love again
Dear Love,
The most important thing when working with energy is to focus on what you want, not on what you don't want. So the fact that you and your boyfriend are focused on trying to make this work is a good thing, and certainly, professional counseling is a great way to sort out your differences, learn new ways of communicating and supporting each other, and growing.
If you'd like to add some energy to your efforts to make things go easier or faster, here are a few things you can try:
1) The next time you find yourself getting "hooked" about something your boyfriend says or does, rather than reacting, stop and observe yourself. Notice where you're feeling the emotion, and what it's suggesting that you do or say. Just watch it. As soon as you detach, it will start to fizzle and fade. You may still be annoyed, but your reaction and actions will be much gentler.
2) The next time you're in a room together, embrace him with your etheric body. To do this, put your feet flat on the floor. Take a few breaths. Relax. Imagine that your heart has a door, and it's opening. You will see or feel a warmth or tingling in your chest as you do this. Let out the light in your heart until it envelops you completely. This should make you feel very good. As you do this, you're filling your etheric body, the vibrational field immediately adjacent to your physical body. This energy body is very fluid, and can stretch to any size. It's the same shape as your physical body, only as large as you need it to be. Fill it with love and light, and then "reach out" with it to touch or embrace your boyfriend. This is especially fun to do if he's not sitting near you--he'll feel something, but won't know what; he'll just know he feels good. Embrace him like this as long as you feel comfortable.
3) When you're apart, send him good thoughts. The best way to do this is to speak them aloud. You can say things like, "I love you, honey." "You're my guy" "You're the best" or talk about any other things you like about him. Again, the intention couples with the physical release of the vibrations, which raises the vibes between you. (And don't be surprised if he calls or texts when you do this, saying that he was "just thinking of you.")
4) Start noticing what you like and what is right about him and your relationship, not just what is wrong. It's really easy to focus on the negative, and when you do, you only get more of it. Bring back some balance by naming one right thing for every "wrong" thing.
5) Finally, make sure you like who you are. It's impossible to love someone else if you don't love yourself, so take some time to notice what's right, good and lovable about YOU. This will also help make you less needy, and if the relationship does end, will leave you in a better place, able to move on.
Love,
EL
My boyfriend and I are really struggling. I think we both want to make this work, but we fight all the time and then end up not speaking at all. We've been to counseling and it's helping some--but sometimes it's hard to listen. Any thoughts?
Signed,
Want to be in love again
Dear Love,
The most important thing when working with energy is to focus on what you want, not on what you don't want. So the fact that you and your boyfriend are focused on trying to make this work is a good thing, and certainly, professional counseling is a great way to sort out your differences, learn new ways of communicating and supporting each other, and growing.
If you'd like to add some energy to your efforts to make things go easier or faster, here are a few things you can try:
1) The next time you find yourself getting "hooked" about something your boyfriend says or does, rather than reacting, stop and observe yourself. Notice where you're feeling the emotion, and what it's suggesting that you do or say. Just watch it. As soon as you detach, it will start to fizzle and fade. You may still be annoyed, but your reaction and actions will be much gentler.
2) The next time you're in a room together, embrace him with your etheric body. To do this, put your feet flat on the floor. Take a few breaths. Relax. Imagine that your heart has a door, and it's opening. You will see or feel a warmth or tingling in your chest as you do this. Let out the light in your heart until it envelops you completely. This should make you feel very good. As you do this, you're filling your etheric body, the vibrational field immediately adjacent to your physical body. This energy body is very fluid, and can stretch to any size. It's the same shape as your physical body, only as large as you need it to be. Fill it with love and light, and then "reach out" with it to touch or embrace your boyfriend. This is especially fun to do if he's not sitting near you--he'll feel something, but won't know what; he'll just know he feels good. Embrace him like this as long as you feel comfortable.
3) When you're apart, send him good thoughts. The best way to do this is to speak them aloud. You can say things like, "I love you, honey." "You're my guy" "You're the best" or talk about any other things you like about him. Again, the intention couples with the physical release of the vibrations, which raises the vibes between you. (And don't be surprised if he calls or texts when you do this, saying that he was "just thinking of you.")
4) Start noticing what you like and what is right about him and your relationship, not just what is wrong. It's really easy to focus on the negative, and when you do, you only get more of it. Bring back some balance by naming one right thing for every "wrong" thing.
5) Finally, make sure you like who you are. It's impossible to love someone else if you don't love yourself, so take some time to notice what's right, good and lovable about YOU. This will also help make you less needy, and if the relationship does end, will leave you in a better place, able to move on.
Love,
EL
Monday, September 16, 2013
What will you do with your lottery winnings?
Dear Energy Lady,
The Lottery in the U.S. is up to $400 million!!!! I really want to win it!!!! How do I get my vibes up before Wednesday?
Signed,
Ready to be rich
Dear Ready,
If you really, truly want to win the lottery, you might want to look at my earlier blog post, "Paul White's Lottery Energy." In it, you'll see some of the many reasons why he was a perfect vibrational match for a big win.
But this said, if you have not spent most of your adult life preparing to win the lottery the way he did, there really is only one other way to become a good vibrational match to what you say you want:
Let go.
In other words, the more you "want" or "need" to win, the lower your vibration and the less likely that you'll be a match for great wealth. By wanting and needing, you remain in a state of wanting and needing, not winning. Paul White didn't want or need the money; he had a good job. He just thought it would be fun to win it.
If, on another hand, you may say that you neither want nor need the money, but rather, would simply LOVE to have it. And maybe you've had wonderful thoughts about all the joy and happiness the money would bring you. No doubt, you will be able to buy a lot of nice stuff with it, and can also invest and support others' dreams and comfort.
But again, there's an energetic trick here: you can enjoy the things that money can buy, but you can't buy love. As Grace Farrell says in the movie, "Annie"--money can never love you back. So if it's love or stature or respect that you're looking for, you're coming from a lower vibration that isn't a match to the higher vibration of wealth. (This is also the reason why so many lottery winners go bankrupt; they're coming from a vibration of fear, not peace, so their actions with the money are fearful, which results in loss.)
So unless you're like Paul and have been entertaining, preparing for and enjoying the thought of winning the lottery for decades, the only way to raise your vibration to be a match to the supreme wealth is either not to care about it at all. Many of the people who win the lottery are like this: they have no negative or concerning feelings about winning or losing.
Try this: Buy your lottery ticket. Then forget about it. Go do anything that makes you feel happy and peaceful. Just relax and enjoy your life as it is. Be in the moment, and forget about the future and the past. Just live as fully as you can right now.
An alternative is to buy a lottery ticket, look at it, and say, "I don't know what I am seeing." Is it a piece of paper, a collection of molecules and atoms, or something that has simply been dreamed up from empty space? Is it real at all? Play with the idea that it is no-"THING" at all, or that you are simply making up stories about it. See if doing so makes you feel looser, more relaxed, and more playful about it. If you lighten up, you're raising your vibration. And when you do that, better things have to happen naturally. So even if you don't win the big prize, other good things are likely to happen to and through you
Love you!
EL
The Lottery in the U.S. is up to $400 million!!!! I really want to win it!!!! How do I get my vibes up before Wednesday?
Signed,
Ready to be rich
Dear Ready,
If you really, truly want to win the lottery, you might want to look at my earlier blog post, "Paul White's Lottery Energy." In it, you'll see some of the many reasons why he was a perfect vibrational match for a big win.
But this said, if you have not spent most of your adult life preparing to win the lottery the way he did, there really is only one other way to become a good vibrational match to what you say you want:
Let go.
In other words, the more you "want" or "need" to win, the lower your vibration and the less likely that you'll be a match for great wealth. By wanting and needing, you remain in a state of wanting and needing, not winning. Paul White didn't want or need the money; he had a good job. He just thought it would be fun to win it.
If, on another hand, you may say that you neither want nor need the money, but rather, would simply LOVE to have it. And maybe you've had wonderful thoughts about all the joy and happiness the money would bring you. No doubt, you will be able to buy a lot of nice stuff with it, and can also invest and support others' dreams and comfort.
But again, there's an energetic trick here: you can enjoy the things that money can buy, but you can't buy love. As Grace Farrell says in the movie, "Annie"--money can never love you back. So if it's love or stature or respect that you're looking for, you're coming from a lower vibration that isn't a match to the higher vibration of wealth. (This is also the reason why so many lottery winners go bankrupt; they're coming from a vibration of fear, not peace, so their actions with the money are fearful, which results in loss.)
So unless you're like Paul and have been entertaining, preparing for and enjoying the thought of winning the lottery for decades, the only way to raise your vibration to be a match to the supreme wealth is either not to care about it at all. Many of the people who win the lottery are like this: they have no negative or concerning feelings about winning or losing.
Try this: Buy your lottery ticket. Then forget about it. Go do anything that makes you feel happy and peaceful. Just relax and enjoy your life as it is. Be in the moment, and forget about the future and the past. Just live as fully as you can right now.
An alternative is to buy a lottery ticket, look at it, and say, "I don't know what I am seeing." Is it a piece of paper, a collection of molecules and atoms, or something that has simply been dreamed up from empty space? Is it real at all? Play with the idea that it is no-"THING" at all, or that you are simply making up stories about it. See if doing so makes you feel looser, more relaxed, and more playful about it. If you lighten up, you're raising your vibration. And when you do that, better things have to happen naturally. So even if you don't win the big prize, other good things are likely to happen to and through you
Love you!
EL
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Green, purple and orange cars
Dear Energy Lady,
How can I tell if I am truly manifesting something, or if it's just dumb luck?
Signed,
Wanna be a wizard
Dear Wanna,
If you want to feel more direct experience as a co-creator (you're never in this energy game alone; you're an individualized part of a single creative field, so essentially, you're always co-creating with your self), then try a simple experiment.
Decide that you want to see more green cars.
What you'll discover is that there are a lot of black, white, grey, silver and black cars, and sometimes red and blue. But there aren't a lot of green cars or trucks. Within a few days, you'll start seeing them everywhere, though. That's because what you focus on and then relax about, you create.
Once you get the hang of green cars, go for orange, or better yet, purple. Again, you'll be busting through the old belief of "there are no orange or purple cars"; improving your focus, and building your present-moment awareness of what's around you.
These skills will make it easier for you to manifest more of what you want, because you will start to see the field around us as friendly and playful.
Have fun!
Love,
EL
How can I tell if I am truly manifesting something, or if it's just dumb luck?
Signed,
Wanna be a wizard
Dear Wanna,
If you want to feel more direct experience as a co-creator (you're never in this energy game alone; you're an individualized part of a single creative field, so essentially, you're always co-creating with your self), then try a simple experiment.
Decide that you want to see more green cars.
What you'll discover is that there are a lot of black, white, grey, silver and black cars, and sometimes red and blue. But there aren't a lot of green cars or trucks. Within a few days, you'll start seeing them everywhere, though. That's because what you focus on and then relax about, you create.
Once you get the hang of green cars, go for orange, or better yet, purple. Again, you'll be busting through the old belief of "there are no orange or purple cars"; improving your focus, and building your present-moment awareness of what's around you.
These skills will make it easier for you to manifest more of what you want, because you will start to see the field around us as friendly and playful.
Have fun!
Love,
EL
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