Dear Energy Lady,
I have a problem. I get jealous really easily. My girlfriend is great, but even if she doesn't look at another guy, if one looks at her, I'm ready to punch him. I really, really love her, and don't know what to do to keep her.
Signed,
Jealous
Dear Jealous,
Jealousy is an interesting emotion energetically. Vibrationally, on Dr. Hawkins' scale, it comes in at about 100 on a scale of 0-1000, so it's very low. It is on the same level as fear and anxiety. Some say it resonates even lower--down at a mere 20--which is where misery, shame and humiliation reside.
Love, on the other hand, resonates at 500. So you can see that on a vibrational scale, jealousy has nothing to do with love, and feeling jealousy is not helping you love your girlfriend more, nor will it make her love you more.
Some say that fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. And you can't be in fear and in love at the same time. And you get to choose--fear or love. If you choose fear, then you're deliberately deciding to feel tense and angry. That's right--you're choosing it and holding on to it. Maybe the energy makes you feel more powerful or passionate. But as you've probably seen, girls don't stay with guys who try to control them or their lives. Real power isn't force. Real power is magnetic, and because it vibrates high, people are naturally attracted to it.
So the next time you feel yourself getting jealous, say to yourself, "I have a choice. I can choose fear or love. It's up to me." Then try sitting back, put your arms behind your head with your elbows out, and relax. This is a high-power body position that will help boost your self confidence. Stay that way for two minutes if you can, and you will feel more comfortable in your own skin. In other words, your brain will believe your body that you're relaxed, and it will calm down. While you're doing it, pay attention to what's actually happening, not the make-believe world of your own thoughts. Chances are good that you'll see that all is well.
It's up to you. Choose love, not fear. Relax your body, and it will send signals to your brain that will make you feel better fast. Try not doing or saying anything else in the two minutes it takes to do this.
Ultimately, I can't guarantee that this will help you keep your girlfriend (she didn't write to me; you did), but it will make you feel a lot better about her, any situation you're in, and yourself. And with your vibration up higher, the relationship has a better chance to survive and thrive. And if it does break up, you'll be in a better vibrational place for your next relationship.
Love,
EL
Welcome to Dear Energy Lady.com, an advice column for those who want life to be easier and more fun. Based on Energetic principles, the Energy Lady is here to teach you about aligning what you think, say and do with higher vibrational resources like intuition, energy bodies, and clairaudience, as well as release energy barriers to better health, happiness and success.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Healing a relationship with energy
Dear Energy Lady,
My boyfriend and I are really struggling. I think we both want to make this work, but we fight all the time and then end up not speaking at all. We've been to counseling and it's helping some--but sometimes it's hard to listen. Any thoughts?
Signed,
Want to be in love again
Dear Love,
The most important thing when working with energy is to focus on what you want, not on what you don't want. So the fact that you and your boyfriend are focused on trying to make this work is a good thing, and certainly, professional counseling is a great way to sort out your differences, learn new ways of communicating and supporting each other, and growing.
If you'd like to add some energy to your efforts to make things go easier or faster, here are a few things you can try:
1) The next time you find yourself getting "hooked" about something your boyfriend says or does, rather than reacting, stop and observe yourself. Notice where you're feeling the emotion, and what it's suggesting that you do or say. Just watch it. As soon as you detach, it will start to fizzle and fade. You may still be annoyed, but your reaction and actions will be much gentler.
2) The next time you're in a room together, embrace him with your etheric body. To do this, put your feet flat on the floor. Take a few breaths. Relax. Imagine that your heart has a door, and it's opening. You will see or feel a warmth or tingling in your chest as you do this. Let out the light in your heart until it envelops you completely. This should make you feel very good. As you do this, you're filling your etheric body, the vibrational field immediately adjacent to your physical body. This energy body is very fluid, and can stretch to any size. It's the same shape as your physical body, only as large as you need it to be. Fill it with love and light, and then "reach out" with it to touch or embrace your boyfriend. This is especially fun to do if he's not sitting near you--he'll feel something, but won't know what; he'll just know he feels good. Embrace him like this as long as you feel comfortable.
3) When you're apart, send him good thoughts. The best way to do this is to speak them aloud. You can say things like, "I love you, honey." "You're my guy" "You're the best" or talk about any other things you like about him. Again, the intention couples with the physical release of the vibrations, which raises the vibes between you. (And don't be surprised if he calls or texts when you do this, saying that he was "just thinking of you.")
4) Start noticing what you like and what is right about him and your relationship, not just what is wrong. It's really easy to focus on the negative, and when you do, you only get more of it. Bring back some balance by naming one right thing for every "wrong" thing.
5) Finally, make sure you like who you are. It's impossible to love someone else if you don't love yourself, so take some time to notice what's right, good and lovable about YOU. This will also help make you less needy, and if the relationship does end, will leave you in a better place, able to move on.
Love,
EL
My boyfriend and I are really struggling. I think we both want to make this work, but we fight all the time and then end up not speaking at all. We've been to counseling and it's helping some--but sometimes it's hard to listen. Any thoughts?
Signed,
Want to be in love again
Dear Love,
The most important thing when working with energy is to focus on what you want, not on what you don't want. So the fact that you and your boyfriend are focused on trying to make this work is a good thing, and certainly, professional counseling is a great way to sort out your differences, learn new ways of communicating and supporting each other, and growing.
If you'd like to add some energy to your efforts to make things go easier or faster, here are a few things you can try:
1) The next time you find yourself getting "hooked" about something your boyfriend says or does, rather than reacting, stop and observe yourself. Notice where you're feeling the emotion, and what it's suggesting that you do or say. Just watch it. As soon as you detach, it will start to fizzle and fade. You may still be annoyed, but your reaction and actions will be much gentler.
2) The next time you're in a room together, embrace him with your etheric body. To do this, put your feet flat on the floor. Take a few breaths. Relax. Imagine that your heart has a door, and it's opening. You will see or feel a warmth or tingling in your chest as you do this. Let out the light in your heart until it envelops you completely. This should make you feel very good. As you do this, you're filling your etheric body, the vibrational field immediately adjacent to your physical body. This energy body is very fluid, and can stretch to any size. It's the same shape as your physical body, only as large as you need it to be. Fill it with love and light, and then "reach out" with it to touch or embrace your boyfriend. This is especially fun to do if he's not sitting near you--he'll feel something, but won't know what; he'll just know he feels good. Embrace him like this as long as you feel comfortable.
3) When you're apart, send him good thoughts. The best way to do this is to speak them aloud. You can say things like, "I love you, honey." "You're my guy" "You're the best" or talk about any other things you like about him. Again, the intention couples with the physical release of the vibrations, which raises the vibes between you. (And don't be surprised if he calls or texts when you do this, saying that he was "just thinking of you.")
4) Start noticing what you like and what is right about him and your relationship, not just what is wrong. It's really easy to focus on the negative, and when you do, you only get more of it. Bring back some balance by naming one right thing for every "wrong" thing.
5) Finally, make sure you like who you are. It's impossible to love someone else if you don't love yourself, so take some time to notice what's right, good and lovable about YOU. This will also help make you less needy, and if the relationship does end, will leave you in a better place, able to move on.
Love,
EL
Monday, September 16, 2013
What will you do with your lottery winnings?
Dear Energy Lady,
The Lottery in the U.S. is up to $400 million!!!! I really want to win it!!!! How do I get my vibes up before Wednesday?
Signed,
Ready to be rich
Dear Ready,
If you really, truly want to win the lottery, you might want to look at my earlier blog post, "Paul White's Lottery Energy." In it, you'll see some of the many reasons why he was a perfect vibrational match for a big win.
But this said, if you have not spent most of your adult life preparing to win the lottery the way he did, there really is only one other way to become a good vibrational match to what you say you want:
Let go.
In other words, the more you "want" or "need" to win, the lower your vibration and the less likely that you'll be a match for great wealth. By wanting and needing, you remain in a state of wanting and needing, not winning. Paul White didn't want or need the money; he had a good job. He just thought it would be fun to win it.
If, on another hand, you may say that you neither want nor need the money, but rather, would simply LOVE to have it. And maybe you've had wonderful thoughts about all the joy and happiness the money would bring you. No doubt, you will be able to buy a lot of nice stuff with it, and can also invest and support others' dreams and comfort.
But again, there's an energetic trick here: you can enjoy the things that money can buy, but you can't buy love. As Grace Farrell says in the movie, "Annie"--money can never love you back. So if it's love or stature or respect that you're looking for, you're coming from a lower vibration that isn't a match to the higher vibration of wealth. (This is also the reason why so many lottery winners go bankrupt; they're coming from a vibration of fear, not peace, so their actions with the money are fearful, which results in loss.)
So unless you're like Paul and have been entertaining, preparing for and enjoying the thought of winning the lottery for decades, the only way to raise your vibration to be a match to the supreme wealth is either not to care about it at all. Many of the people who win the lottery are like this: they have no negative or concerning feelings about winning or losing.
Try this: Buy your lottery ticket. Then forget about it. Go do anything that makes you feel happy and peaceful. Just relax and enjoy your life as it is. Be in the moment, and forget about the future and the past. Just live as fully as you can right now.
An alternative is to buy a lottery ticket, look at it, and say, "I don't know what I am seeing." Is it a piece of paper, a collection of molecules and atoms, or something that has simply been dreamed up from empty space? Is it real at all? Play with the idea that it is no-"THING" at all, or that you are simply making up stories about it. See if doing so makes you feel looser, more relaxed, and more playful about it. If you lighten up, you're raising your vibration. And when you do that, better things have to happen naturally. So even if you don't win the big prize, other good things are likely to happen to and through you
Love you!
EL
The Lottery in the U.S. is up to $400 million!!!! I really want to win it!!!! How do I get my vibes up before Wednesday?
Signed,
Ready to be rich
Dear Ready,
If you really, truly want to win the lottery, you might want to look at my earlier blog post, "Paul White's Lottery Energy." In it, you'll see some of the many reasons why he was a perfect vibrational match for a big win.
But this said, if you have not spent most of your adult life preparing to win the lottery the way he did, there really is only one other way to become a good vibrational match to what you say you want:
Let go.
In other words, the more you "want" or "need" to win, the lower your vibration and the less likely that you'll be a match for great wealth. By wanting and needing, you remain in a state of wanting and needing, not winning. Paul White didn't want or need the money; he had a good job. He just thought it would be fun to win it.
If, on another hand, you may say that you neither want nor need the money, but rather, would simply LOVE to have it. And maybe you've had wonderful thoughts about all the joy and happiness the money would bring you. No doubt, you will be able to buy a lot of nice stuff with it, and can also invest and support others' dreams and comfort.
But again, there's an energetic trick here: you can enjoy the things that money can buy, but you can't buy love. As Grace Farrell says in the movie, "Annie"--money can never love you back. So if it's love or stature or respect that you're looking for, you're coming from a lower vibration that isn't a match to the higher vibration of wealth. (This is also the reason why so many lottery winners go bankrupt; they're coming from a vibration of fear, not peace, so their actions with the money are fearful, which results in loss.)
So unless you're like Paul and have been entertaining, preparing for and enjoying the thought of winning the lottery for decades, the only way to raise your vibration to be a match to the supreme wealth is either not to care about it at all. Many of the people who win the lottery are like this: they have no negative or concerning feelings about winning or losing.
Try this: Buy your lottery ticket. Then forget about it. Go do anything that makes you feel happy and peaceful. Just relax and enjoy your life as it is. Be in the moment, and forget about the future and the past. Just live as fully as you can right now.
An alternative is to buy a lottery ticket, look at it, and say, "I don't know what I am seeing." Is it a piece of paper, a collection of molecules and atoms, or something that has simply been dreamed up from empty space? Is it real at all? Play with the idea that it is no-"THING" at all, or that you are simply making up stories about it. See if doing so makes you feel looser, more relaxed, and more playful about it. If you lighten up, you're raising your vibration. And when you do that, better things have to happen naturally. So even if you don't win the big prize, other good things are likely to happen to and through you
Love you!
EL
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Green, purple and orange cars
Dear Energy Lady,
How can I tell if I am truly manifesting something, or if it's just dumb luck?
Signed,
Wanna be a wizard
Dear Wanna,
If you want to feel more direct experience as a co-creator (you're never in this energy game alone; you're an individualized part of a single creative field, so essentially, you're always co-creating with your self), then try a simple experiment.
Decide that you want to see more green cars.
What you'll discover is that there are a lot of black, white, grey, silver and black cars, and sometimes red and blue. But there aren't a lot of green cars or trucks. Within a few days, you'll start seeing them everywhere, though. That's because what you focus on and then relax about, you create.
Once you get the hang of green cars, go for orange, or better yet, purple. Again, you'll be busting through the old belief of "there are no orange or purple cars"; improving your focus, and building your present-moment awareness of what's around you.
These skills will make it easier for you to manifest more of what you want, because you will start to see the field around us as friendly and playful.
Have fun!
Love,
EL
How can I tell if I am truly manifesting something, or if it's just dumb luck?
Signed,
Wanna be a wizard
Dear Wanna,
If you want to feel more direct experience as a co-creator (you're never in this energy game alone; you're an individualized part of a single creative field, so essentially, you're always co-creating with your self), then try a simple experiment.
Decide that you want to see more green cars.
What you'll discover is that there are a lot of black, white, grey, silver and black cars, and sometimes red and blue. But there aren't a lot of green cars or trucks. Within a few days, you'll start seeing them everywhere, though. That's because what you focus on and then relax about, you create.
Once you get the hang of green cars, go for orange, or better yet, purple. Again, you'll be busting through the old belief of "there are no orange or purple cars"; improving your focus, and building your present-moment awareness of what's around you.
These skills will make it easier for you to manifest more of what you want, because you will start to see the field around us as friendly and playful.
Have fun!
Love,
EL
Friday, August 30, 2013
Too busy and high strung to relax
Dear Readers,
Even Energy Ladies need a tune-up once in a while, so I'm happy to share that I am currently taking part in Penache Desai's 21-day program. It's impossible to describe how gracious and loving he and his wife are or how wonderful it feels to listen to him speak. His words ring true, and his message is simple: we are all loved and supported, and all is well.
Since this column talks about how our vibrational state affects our life experiences, I will share the one thing that Penache has reinforced in our encounters thus far: if you want to raise your vibration, just relax.
For most people, that is easier said than done. See if anything on this list holds true for you:
--You can't keep your hands off your Smart or Iphone, constantly sending messages, surfing the Internet or checking to see if anything has come in for you
--You head for your computer as soon as you get home from work
--You are constantly busy; the word "multitasking" was designed with you in mind
--Your mind races day and night, and often awakens you from sleep
--You watch TV shows that agitate you; you may even find yourself yelling at the set
--You never, ever finish your "to do" list
--Even on vacation, you're either running around or checking your technology
If any of this is true for you, you're probably blocking the flow of energy in your life, which suggests that things could possibly be more of a struggle for you than they need to be.
There are certainly many ways to let go, but Penache suggests something very simple: Just relax.
Can't do it? Try again.
Just relax.
You could try tensing/releasing every major muscle group; a hot bath with magnesium salts; soothing music; petting your favorite animal; a massage; or just breathing. But know this: as soon as you turn off your thinking and simple BE, what is truly meant to be yours will come to you and through you.
Turn off the busy and turn on to being. And if you'd like to experience Penache for yourself, his website is www.penachedesai.com
Enjoy!
Love,
EL
Even Energy Ladies need a tune-up once in a while, so I'm happy to share that I am currently taking part in Penache Desai's 21-day program. It's impossible to describe how gracious and loving he and his wife are or how wonderful it feels to listen to him speak. His words ring true, and his message is simple: we are all loved and supported, and all is well.
Since this column talks about how our vibrational state affects our life experiences, I will share the one thing that Penache has reinforced in our encounters thus far: if you want to raise your vibration, just relax.
For most people, that is easier said than done. See if anything on this list holds true for you:
--You can't keep your hands off your Smart or Iphone, constantly sending messages, surfing the Internet or checking to see if anything has come in for you
--You head for your computer as soon as you get home from work
--You are constantly busy; the word "multitasking" was designed with you in mind
--Your mind races day and night, and often awakens you from sleep
--You watch TV shows that agitate you; you may even find yourself yelling at the set
--You never, ever finish your "to do" list
--Even on vacation, you're either running around or checking your technology
If any of this is true for you, you're probably blocking the flow of energy in your life, which suggests that things could possibly be more of a struggle for you than they need to be.
There are certainly many ways to let go, but Penache suggests something very simple: Just relax.
Can't do it? Try again.
Just relax.
You could try tensing/releasing every major muscle group; a hot bath with magnesium salts; soothing music; petting your favorite animal; a massage; or just breathing. But know this: as soon as you turn off your thinking and simple BE, what is truly meant to be yours will come to you and through you.
Turn off the busy and turn on to being. And if you'd like to experience Penache for yourself, his website is www.penachedesai.com
Enjoy!
Love,
EL
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
On the wings of love
Dear Energy Lady,
Why is it that when you're in love, everything in your life works better? And how can you keep the energy going when the relationship starts to settle into a softer rhythm?
Signed,
Flying High
Dear Flying,
Love is a very high vibration. Dr. David Hawkins calibrated a vibrational scale that you'll find in his book, "Power Versus Force," and love calibrates at a level of 500 out of 1000. And if you're feeling a little bit joyful, that calibrates at 540. Only Peace and Enlightenment are higher.
So when you're vibrating at such a high level, you create and magnetize experiences that resonate at the same level. Since these vibrate at the same level as love, these experiences usually feel very good to you, so you consider that your life is "working better." But it really isn't life that's working any better; it's you.
Of course it's natural to want to keep this feeling going as long as you can. But that's the thing with energy: you can't hold on to it or stop it. It has to flow. And honestly, you wouldn't appreciate the feeling of love or beauty if you didn't also experience the contrast of the lower vibrations.
This said, you can keep your vibration high by continuously releasing love. Just let it go. This creates a vacuum so that more love can flow in. And if you believe that love is limitless, that's exactly what will happen. So you need to trust that love is abundant for everyone.
Actually, since love is what makes up all of creation, you may start to see/experience it everywhere. So try this: start paying attention. Look for love in all its forms. Young love. Old love. Friends. Care-giving. Grieving when someone you love dies. Love of animals, earth, hobbies...you name it. Love is everywhere.
Get used to the idea that love is your/our natural state of being, and it's only the stories we tell ourselves that covers it up. So the more you deliberately try to get in touch with it every day, the "higher" you'll feel about life and in life.
Love you!
EL
Why is it that when you're in love, everything in your life works better? And how can you keep the energy going when the relationship starts to settle into a softer rhythm?
Signed,
Flying High
Dear Flying,
Love is a very high vibration. Dr. David Hawkins calibrated a vibrational scale that you'll find in his book, "Power Versus Force," and love calibrates at a level of 500 out of 1000. And if you're feeling a little bit joyful, that calibrates at 540. Only Peace and Enlightenment are higher.
So when you're vibrating at such a high level, you create and magnetize experiences that resonate at the same level. Since these vibrate at the same level as love, these experiences usually feel very good to you, so you consider that your life is "working better." But it really isn't life that's working any better; it's you.
Of course it's natural to want to keep this feeling going as long as you can. But that's the thing with energy: you can't hold on to it or stop it. It has to flow. And honestly, you wouldn't appreciate the feeling of love or beauty if you didn't also experience the contrast of the lower vibrations.
This said, you can keep your vibration high by continuously releasing love. Just let it go. This creates a vacuum so that more love can flow in. And if you believe that love is limitless, that's exactly what will happen. So you need to trust that love is abundant for everyone.
Actually, since love is what makes up all of creation, you may start to see/experience it everywhere. So try this: start paying attention. Look for love in all its forms. Young love. Old love. Friends. Care-giving. Grieving when someone you love dies. Love of animals, earth, hobbies...you name it. Love is everywhere.
Get used to the idea that love is your/our natural state of being, and it's only the stories we tell ourselves that covers it up. So the more you deliberately try to get in touch with it every day, the "higher" you'll feel about life and in life.
Love you!
EL
Sunday, August 18, 2013
10 blocks to manifestation
Dear Energy Lady,
I am a great visualizer--I have a terrific imagination, and no have no problem having vivid, almost-real thoughts. My problem is that I'm not manifesting things as fast as I think I should be. What's the problem?
Signed,
Fantasy Land
Dear Fantasy,
Sounds like you just have some old, stale energy that's blocking your creations. Here's a partial list of what might be mucking up the works:
--Old beliefs that no longer serve you
--A negative environment that is neutralizing your creative efforts
--Stuck energy (do you sit around a lot? Get up and move!)
--Doubts and/or fears about manifesting what you think you want
--Trying to control outcomes in a very specific way
--"Working" at manifesting rather than allowing it
--Wanting something--the more you want, the more you create separation between yourself and the thing you're trying to create. Try imagining that you have it, not that you don't
--Thinking of something happening in the "future" (everything is created in the now)
--Trying to manifest something that's good for you, but could be harmful to others
--Trying to manifest something in someone else's life
When you manifest, ask what your intention is in doing so. What is the ultimate result or outcome you're trying to create? Focus on the changed state of being, and see if it feels light, peaceful and happy to you and all who are touched by it. If the answer is yes, carry on. If not, back off and just enjoy the life you have in this moment, for it too was created by you. Then things can unfold naturally from there.
Have fun!
Love,
EL
I am a great visualizer--I have a terrific imagination, and no have no problem having vivid, almost-real thoughts. My problem is that I'm not manifesting things as fast as I think I should be. What's the problem?
Signed,
Fantasy Land
Dear Fantasy,
Sounds like you just have some old, stale energy that's blocking your creations. Here's a partial list of what might be mucking up the works:
--Old beliefs that no longer serve you
--A negative environment that is neutralizing your creative efforts
--Stuck energy (do you sit around a lot? Get up and move!)
--Doubts and/or fears about manifesting what you think you want
--Trying to control outcomes in a very specific way
--"Working" at manifesting rather than allowing it
--Wanting something--the more you want, the more you create separation between yourself and the thing you're trying to create. Try imagining that you have it, not that you don't
--Thinking of something happening in the "future" (everything is created in the now)
--Trying to manifest something that's good for you, but could be harmful to others
--Trying to manifest something in someone else's life
When you manifest, ask what your intention is in doing so. What is the ultimate result or outcome you're trying to create? Focus on the changed state of being, and see if it feels light, peaceful and happy to you and all who are touched by it. If the answer is yes, carry on. If not, back off and just enjoy the life you have in this moment, for it too was created by you. Then things can unfold naturally from there.
Have fun!
Love,
EL
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