Take a Load Off

I once taught a weight loss course called "Take a Load Off!" that used the mind/body connection to help people lose more weight by gaining more happiness.  Over the next few nights, I'll tell you a couple of stories from the class.  Feel free to ask questions about your own weight loss if you'd like.

Take a Load Off! worked on a very simple premise:  the more happiness you gain, the more weight you'll lose.  And the "weight" might not be in pounds or kilos.  Sometimes it was the weight of an old limiting belief or the weight of a fear that was holding someone back.  People hate to lose anything, but they love to get more.

So together, we explored ways of bringing more and more happiness into life.  And one woman said she wanted to lose about 30 pounds so she could feel good in a bathing suit again.  As she told the class this, she was eating a large bag of chips.  So I said, "The bathing suit really won't bring you happiness."

"Oh, yes it will," she insisted.

"No, it won't,"  I said.  "But eating the chips does."

"Don't be ridiculous!" she said.  "Eating chips doesn't bring me happiness."

"Of course they do," I said.  "Why eat them if they don't?"

She crunched into another chip.  "Go on."

"Let's make this easier.  You want to eat the chips right now because that's what you're doing.  It's just plain silly to say that you don't want to do something as you're doing it.  Stop arguing with your reality.    Right now, you don't care if the chips aren't a diet food; to you, at this moment, they're a good food, or they're doing something good for you.  Maybe they're keeping you awake with their crunch.  Maybe they just taste good.  Maybe you need the calories or the salt or the fat.   Maybe they're a reward for a bad day.  Maybe you just feel like being a 'bad' girl.  It doesn't matter.  Somehow, some way, they're making you happy.  Can we agree on this?"

She nodded.

"So if you want to eat them because they make you happy in some way, then eat them.  But instead of saying that you're unhappy doing something that's making you happy, say instead, 'Eventually, I'd like to lose enough weight to wear my old bathing suits.  But right now, I'm happy enjoying these chips."

"What's your point?" she asked.

"The point is that resistance causes you stress.  Stress releases cortisol.  Cortisol makes your body store fat.  So you'll actually do more for your metabolism if you eat the chips mindfully, enjoying the taste, texture or even the feeling of being a 'bad girl.'  Just relax, be happy, and enjoy.  No guilt; no self-recrimination; no lying to yourself or us."

"But they're still no good for me," she said.

"Well, there are obviously better, more nutritious foods," I said, "but if this is what you need right now, choose it, own your choice, and then make the decision work for you.   Maybe this will prompt you to eat a few more vegetables or fruits later.  Or it will give you enough energy to clean your house or walk your dog a little longer.  Who knows?

"But this I can promise you," I said:  "As the saying goes, 'what you resist, persists.'  So stop resisting.  Without the resistance, you'll have much more control over what happens next."

She took a deep breath, sighed, and picked up the bag.  "Good," she said.  "Tonight, I'm eating these.  And tomorrow, I'll decide if fitting into that bathing suit will really make me happy."

"Good!" I said.  "And get ready, because you might find that something else holds the key to your happiness.

In the end, she resonated more with the choices she was making than with particular foods.  She started looking for other things she enjoyed doing, and you guessed it: her energy increased and she lost weight.

Tomorrow:  A clear vision of happiness